Scars and Souvenirs
by VGWrighte
Summary: S/J Alternate Reality with D/J . Takes place in the reality Janet and Martouf came from in Ripple Effect. Tags for Reckoning, Pts I and II , Threads, and Ripple Effect. Now complete with meaningless epilogue!
1. Author's Note

Scars and Souvenirs

Alright, I'm gonna level with you, here. This story is three separate story ideas (and many mini story ideas) slightly adjusted and shoved together to make one giant mega-story.

Title from the Theory of a Deadman CD, if you were wondering.

Here's the main breakdown:

Part I, "Addiction," takes place during Season 8's "Affinity."

Part II, "Grief," takes place during Season 8's "Reckoning" parts I and II, and "Threads."

and

Part III, "Disease," takes place during Season 9's "Ripple Effect."

They all exist in the Alternate Universe from which Janet and Martouf came from in "Ripple Effect."

Rating: T. You won't read anything here that you wouldn't see on the show.

Primary Ship: Jack/Sam

Secondary Ship: Daniel/Janet

Other major players: Jacob, Cassie

Other minor players: Teal'c, Martouf

I promise a happy ending, so enjoy reading.


	2. Pt I, I Delight and Discovery

Scars and Souvenirs

Part I – Addiction

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Affinity"

Chapter I: Delight and Discovery

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

Jack fiddled with his hat. He didn't know what else to do with his hands.

It was just a regular Wednesday.

Regular, except that he was about to have a meeting with the President. _The_ President. Of the United States. Not the local gun club or fishing derby committee. The _United States _. . . _of America_.

He liked Henry Hayes, he did. He was a good man. He was smart, and liked the Stargate program. Plus, he canned Kinsey after a week or so in office. That was just priceless.

"The President will see you now, General," the secretary at the desk told him.

Jack stood up, fixed his uniform jacket, and let himself into the Oval Office.

"Jack," President Hayes stood up to greet him, offering him his hand.

Jack shook it. "Good morning, Mister President. Thank you for seeing me on short notice."

Hayes closed the door behind Jack and then offered him a seat, which he took. "Well, when the man in charge of keeping out the evil interstellar aliens says 'we need to talk,' I think that's a good reason to rearrange one's schedule."

Jack shook his head. "There aren't any problems at the SGC, or with the Goa'uld, except for the ones we already have of course . . . I just thought I needed to tell you this in person. Frankly, when you canned Kinsey, I knew you were a good guy and I think you deserve at least some type of explanation."

Hayes' brow furrowed. "Where's this going, Jack?"

"I'm resigning my commission with the Air Force."

Hayes leaned back in the couch he was sitting on. "What?"

"I'm resigning my commission, Sir."

"Is this about the Air Force or the Stargate?"

"Don't get me wrong, I love working at the SGC, but I can't stay in the Air Force any longer."

Hayes leaned forward again. "Why?"

Jack broke eye contact for a second. He had planned what he wanted to say the entire plane ride here, but somehow, he had lost those words. He thought back to the conversation he had had with Martouf three months previous.

"_Carter means more to me than anything else in the world . . . the galaxy, really," _he had said. Martouf had merely nodded._ "I guess what I'm trying to say is: . . . Are you okay with the possibility of Carter and me . . ."_

"_If you are asking my permission to court Samantha, I do not understand why. I no longer have that type of responsibility for her."_

_Jack sighed. "On Earth, friends don't just date friends' ex-girlfriends."_

"_You consider me a friend, then?" Martouf asked._

_Jack nodded. "Yeah, kind of."_

_Martouf smiled. "I consider you a friend, as well." After a short pause, he continued, "It became apparent to me long ago that Samantha cared for someone other than myself. It did not take me long at all to realize that someone was you. I know that Samantha would be happy with you, baring any unusual circumstances. If I may be frank — and I say this as your friend — I'm surprised you have not attempted this before now."_

_Jack ran his fingers through his hair. "Thanks, Marty."_

"There's been a few things that I've wanted to do for a long time, and I simply can't do those things while being in the Air Force." He mentally slapped himself, that sounded awful.

Hayes cocked his head questioningly. "Like what?"

"I'd rather not reveal specifics, if I don't have to."

"Oh, come on, Jack. You flew all the way to Washington to give me some vague, cryptic answer? Just tell me what's going on. However weird you think it may be: I can handle it. However outrageous, inappropriate or ridiculous it may seem: just go for it. On my first day of being President, they told me that we've been in contact with aliens for years, and an elite team has saved this planet from some of those aliens several times. Try to beat that."

Jack inhaled long and slow. "Are you sure? Because just talking about this while I'm in the Air Force . . ."

Hayes waved his hand to dissuade his fears. "Oh, just tell me."

"Samantha Carter."

Hayes gaped. "You have got to be kidding me."

Jack shook his head slowly and swallowed hard. "No, Sir. I want to resign so I can pursue a relationship with Samantha Carter." It felt weird — to say the least — to say that to the President of the United States.

"When I first heard about the Stargate Program, Bob Kinsey tried to convince me to shut it down. One of his reasons — his last resort reasons — was that the two of you had some inappropriate relationship. Are you telling me he was right?"

"No, Sir," Jack replied quickly. "Nothing has gone on between me and Carter. Nothing at all." He paused, and dropped his voice a little. "Nothing . . . for seven and a half years. That's kind of the point."

"Really?" It was obvious that Hayes didn't know what to think. On one hand, Kinsey had told him that Jack and Carter were having an inappropriate relationship. On the other hand, Kinsey was an idiot.

"Sir, I assure you, there has been no improper behavior on either one of our parts." He thought back to the time he and Teal'c had been caught in a time loop, but that didn't really count; he had resigned then as well. "Carter fully deserved her promotion to Lieutenant Colonel."

Hayes waved his hand again. "Hammond had her up for promotion anyway. She would have gotten one sooner or later."

Jack sat quietly, looking at the President.

"Gee, Jack, this is a hell of a reason to quit the job you've got."

He shrugged. "Seven and half years, Sir. _That_ is one hell of a reason."

Hayes thought to himself for a few more seconds. "Would you stay on at the SGC as a civilian?"

Jack nodded slowly. "Yes, Sir. Why?"

A devious smile rose to Hayes' lips. "The Senate Appropriations Committee has been pushing me for a civilian to be in charge of the SGC."

"You think they'll buy that, Sir?"

Hayes shrugged. "Probably not, but it's either you or another Air Force general." Jack nodded. "I've got a scheduled meeting with the Committee in two weeks. I'll fast-track your request for resignation so your commission is up the day after. If they go for it, you'll be a civilian in charge of the SGC; if they don't, I'll delay for resignation until we can get someone to replace you."

"I'll get a list of people who could take over."

"Alright, Jack," Hayes stood up. "I hope, for my sake, that the Appropriations Committee goes for this."

Jack stood as well and shook the President's hand. "I hope they take it, too."

Hayes smiled. "Samantha Carter?" he repeated, skeptical.

Jack couldn't help but smile at the mention of her. "Yes, Sir," he nodded.

Hayes nodded. "I knew her father." He paused, thinking back. "Stubborn son of a bitch," he laughed. "Good luck, Jack."

"Good luck with the Senate, Sir," Jack said, turning to leave. He paused at the door when Hayes spoke.

"Jack, consider a few particular regulations _relaxed_ for two weeks or so . . ."

Jack nodded, feeling nearly giddy on the inside. "Thank you, Sir."

Jack got the details of the Senate Appropriations Committee meeting on his way out and then got to Reagan International Airport as soon as he could. He caught the earliest flight to Colorado Springs that was available.

He had waited for this for years. He had planned this for months.

He was resigning.

Regulations were relaxed.

He had to talk to Carter.

- . - . -

Jack stood outside Carter's door. He had been there for several minutes, trying to work up the courage to knock. He really thought he should do it soon before she randomly came through it for one reason or another. That would be awkward.

He finally tapped against the door a few times and waited.

Seconds later, she opened the door. "Sir!" she was more than a little surprised to see him; after all, he wasn't supposed to be in Washington until tomorrow. "Come in." She stepped aside, allowing him entrance to her home. "Can I get you something?" she asked.

He nodded, walking in. "Yeah, what ever you've got." He watched her head to the kitchen and looked around her house. He'd been there before, but it somehow felt different now. Nothing had happened between Sam and himself yet, but things had already changed.

"Take a seat," she offered as she returned with a pair of beers. She handed one to him and gestured for him to take a seat in the chair behind him. He did and she sat on the couch. "How was your trip?" she asked, pushing a coaster in his direction.

He smiled inwardly. She was a coaster person . . . wow, they were way different people. They were _so_ different. He had a habit of tossing his bottle caps randomly over the house, and she was a coaster person.

"I'm resigning my commission," he said after a moment of silence.

"What? Why?" she gaped. It was funny; she and Hayes had the same reaction. Well, funny like when she was _"driving, in my car, and I drove here,"_ after he had had his head sucked by that Ancient Head-Sucker for the second time.

He put his beer down, not taking a drink from it, and stared at it. "I went to Washington to talk to President Hayes. I didn't just want to up and leave without giving a reason why."

Even though he paused, Carter remained silent. She didn't know what to say. It kind of surprised him; she almost always knew what to say. Sure, it had always been there between them; their careers. But he knew that she never thought that one of them would _actually_ call it quits on whim like he just did.

"For a very long time, I've had something I needed to do. But I always pushed it aside. That was until just recently when I finally convinced myself that I couldn't put this off any longer." He met her gaze. "Someone had to make the first move, Sam."

He reached into his pocket and placed his hand on the table, covering the object from his pocket. He had gotten it months ago, even before he had spoken to Martouf. He the longest time, it had sat on top of his dresser, staring back at him every time he got a new pair of socks. Jack took a deep breath and moved his hand, uncovering the object.

Sam went slack jawed and wide eyed.

It was a ring box.

"I guess I really don't what else to say," Jack said with a small laugh, "but you always knew that I'm not very eloquent."

He thought back to when Doctor Samantha Carter came through that damned mirror they found on 223. _"I know you well enough to know that you don't have a clue what to say,"_ she had said. _"But you don't have to say anything."_

He stood up, preparing to leave. "This is a lot to take in really quickly. You really haven't had time to think and you probably don't know if this is what you want for your life. But I _have_ had time to think, and I _do_ know what I want for my life. I'll give you time to think."

He walked towards her front door, leaving his beer untouched. This was a lot of information to take in, in a very short time. He knew exactly what he was doing to her. He just resigned his commission and proposed marriage to her. He knew what he wanted. It must have scared the hell out of her.

"Jack," she said when he was only halfway down the hall. He turned to her. "I don't need time to decide," she said.

With a few rushed steps from both of them, they were mere inches from each other and they froze. They made eye contact and nothing else mattered. She tightly gripped his lapels and pulled him to her as he threw his arms around her and pressed his lips to hers in a careless, desperate, nervous fashion.

After an indeterminate amount of time, they broke.

"Whoa," Jack breathed, not loosening his grip on her.

Sam inhaled deeply and nodded.

They stood. That was all; his arms pressing her tight to him and her hands clenching his jacket.

Her eyes shifted around, suddenly extremely self-conscious. "It's not going to be like this all the time, is it?

Jack shook his head. "No, I'm sure we'll eventually get over this initial awkwardness."

She nodded. "Okay." Still gripping his lapels, she looked around a little. "What do we do now?"

He sighed, still pressing her tight to him. "Oh, I suppose we contact the Tok'Ra tomorrow and talk to your dad and then I guess we have a wedding to plan."

"And now?"

"You mean _right_ now?" She nodded. "I don't know," he replied.

She inhaled and nodded emphatically. "Because I _really_ think we should kiss again."

"Okay." He leaned in for another kiss, but stopped just short. She opened her eyes when she felt the distance between them. "You know I'm in love with you, right?" he asked.

She nodded again, "Yeah. Yeah, I know."

"Okay, just thought I'd get that on the table."

"Good idea." She leaned back a little, giving him a better view of her entire face. "I . . . ah, I love you, too."

He smiled. "Well . . . okay then." Allowing one hand to drift down to her hip and the other up to her neck, he kissed her again. She let her grip on him loosen and ran her hands up to cup his face.

Their second kiss was slower, cooler, less rushed, less scary. It was right.

Succumbing to the need for oxygen, they broke apart, just far enough to look into each others' eyes.

"Are you hungry?" Sam asked in a husky whisper.

Jack leaned back, getting a full view of her face, more than a little surprised. "What?"

She cleared her throat. "Dinner. I was thinking about making something when got here. Do you want something to eat?"

"First date dinner . . . sure." Jack released her and followed her into her kitchen, stopping by the coffee table and grabbing their beers. "Okay," he said as she got some chicken from the freezer and a pan from the cupboard. "What do you want me to do?"

She laughed. "I thought the only thing you could make was melted ice and burnt steak?"

"Well, unless you teach me now, it's either melted ice or burnt steak, or you're doing the cooking. Just sayin' . . ."

She laughed again. "Come here." She handed him a pair of tongs. "Flip the chicken," she instructed.

He took the tongs dutifully, "Yes, Ma'am." She turned away from him and went towards the refrigerator. "Sam," he said when she was back at the counter, cutting up vegetables. She looked up at him. He kissed her lips sweetly.

An infectious smile spread across her face and she kissed him again. "A girl could get used to this."

He responded with a simple "yeah" and turned back to the chicken he was supposed to be minding.

"So, what did the President say?" Carter asked after a few minutes.

Jack took a swig of his beer. "He said that he'd love to keep me around. Apparently, the Senate Appropriations Committee is looking for a civilian in charge anyway. They really liked Weir, but well . . . she's in another galaxy. So, Hayes has a meeting with them in thirteen days, my resignation is enacted in fourteen. We'll see if I'm around the SGC after that."

"I meant about . . . about why you resigned your commission."

Jack chuckled. "He was shocked, actually. Apparently, Kinsey tried to make him believe there were some inappropriate activities going on when Hayes first got elected. Hayes dismissed it all, so you can imagine he was a little surprised when I told him it was true, sort of."

"Does he know what's going on right now?" she gestured broadly, referring to their engagement.

Jack shrugged. "I didn't know what was going to be going on right now, so no; but I'm sure he has his suspicions."

After a brief moment of silence, Carter laughed. "How weird was that conversation?"

He nodded. "Yeah, really weird."

The ice had been broken. They finished making dinner, then sat down and enjoyed it together. Deciding what was going to happen next between the two of them. They were going to keep things to themselves until they spoke to Jacob.

After dinner, they reclined on the couch. Jack put his feet up on the coffee table and Sam leaned against him with her legs curled next to her. It was quiet. It was comfortable. It was right.

Well into the second hour of the _Gilligan's Island_ marathon they'd been watching, but not really paying all that much attention to, Jack glanced at his watch. It was getting late; 2230. "I should go," he said, getting up.

Sam grabbed his wrist, and met his gaze.

He didn't think it was possible for those blue eyes to smolder and sparkle at the same time, but they did.

She stood. "You don't have to go," she said, her voice just above a whisper.

He took both of her hands. "I really, _really_, would like to take you up on that offer, but . . . We've been dating and engaged for all of . . . six hours. I know we rushed into this and that was kind of the point; but some things shouldn't be rushed into."

She smiled softly. "I think you're right."

He put on his discarded shoes and grabbed his jacket, and walked to the door with her. He leaned towards her to give her a chaste kiss, but she pulled him to her with her hands on his neck. Dropping his jacket, his hands found comfortable positions on her hips.

When she finally broke off, he exhaled deeply.

"You're right," he said, "I could get used to this."

She smiled. "Good night, Jack."

"Night, Carter." He opened the door to leave, but paused at the threshold, turning back quickly for one more kiss. "Definitely could get used to this," he said as he left.

She watched him leave from her doorway; offering him a smile and wave as he drove off. "_Definitely_ could get used to this," he repeated to himself on his drive home.

- . - - - . -


	3. Pt I, II Experimentation

Scars and Souvenirs

Part I – Addiction

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Affinity"

Chapter II: Experimentation

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

"Colonel Erickson," General O'Neill greeted the Alpha Site base commander. "How are things in our home away from home?"

Erickson smiled. "Oh, things are going nicely. We've had several Free Jaffa and Tok'Ra drop by. They came and went peacefully, but didn't have much to say," she answered. "Everyone's still pretty sore." It was unfortunate that their little alliance had broken up. She had a feeling that if Teal'c and Martouf were not on SG-1 they would never hear from any of the Jaffa or the Tok'Ra.

"You wouldn't happen to have a Tok'Ra around, would you?"

"Yes, Sir," Erickson answered. It was more than a little strange for General O'Neill to ask about a Tok'Ra. It was not a secret that he didn't really like them; with the exception of Martouf and Jacob Carter. "His name is Shantar. He dropped in yesterday, and is leaving today, I think."

"Could you give him a message for me?" he asked.

"Yes, Sir," she replied.

"Tell him that we're looking for Selmak. It's not urgent, there's no emergency. Just have Jacob mosey by whenever he has the chance."

"I'll give him the message, Sir."

"Thank you, Colonel. Over and out."

Erickson watched the wormhole close. The General's request was simple enough, but she couldn't help but be suspicious. It was perfectly plausible that Colonel Carter simply wanted to see her father, but that just didn't seem like the reason.

She turned to the sergeant in charge of keeping tabs on all their visitors. "Where's our Tok'Ra guest?" she asked. She was going to deliver O'Neill's message as soon as she could, just in case there was something going on.

- . - . -

Cassie stared at her computer screen. It was really late and she knew she should really go to bed, but she didn't want to. She was waiting for Daniel to get online. She knew he would. He always did.

She had called her mom earlier in the day and knew that she and Daniel were out on a date. It was getting close to midnight in Colorado Springs, and Cassie wondered why Daniel wasn't online yet. Who stayed out late on a Thursday night?

She tried to convince herself that they just caught a late movie or something; not that — she shuddered — they went home together. She tried to get the image out of her mind. Daniel and her mom were cute together, but there were some things a girl didn't need to envision about her mother.

She waited a few more agonizing minutes and finally saw Daniel's avatar pop up. "ur home past curfew young man," she typed.

"Past your bedtime, too, young lady," his reply came quickly. Cassie thought it was cute that he always used proper punctuation and capitalization.

[InterstellarChick] howd it go?

[DannyBoy] Well.

[InterstellarChick] whatd she say?

[DannyBoy] What do you mean?

[InterstellarChick] u didnt ask her :(

[DannyBoy] We've only been dating a few months.

[InterstellarChick] 4.5

[InterstellarChick] come on i know ppl who get engaged before they get that far

[DannyBoy] I think we both know that your mother and myself are not "people."

[InterstellarChick] she rly likes you :D

[DannyBoy] In case you can't tell, I'm scowling at you right now.

[InterstellarChick] :) oh come on daniel

[InterstellarChick] she cried when you came back from 'the Ascended'

[DannyBoy] So you've told me before.

[InterstellarChick] i mean it daniel

[InterstellarChick] shes not gonna say no

Cassie waited for his reply.

[InterstellarChick] Daniel?

[DannyBoy] I know that.

[InterstellarChick] THEN WHY DONT U ASK HER?

[DannyBoy] Because I don't want to be rushed into this. Janet and I enjoyed a very nice dinner and movie this evening. The State was having its "Classic Rerun" night and we saw Casablanca.

[InterstellarChick] *deadpan* sounds thrilling

[DannyBoy] What? We both enjoyed it.

[InterstellarChick] u 2 r worse than sam n jack

[DannyBoy] We are not!

[InterstellarChick] . . .

[InterstellarChick] ok mayb not

[DannyBoy] At least Janet and I are dating and acknowledging it.

[DannyBoy] . . . And I'll ask her when I'm ready.

[InterstellarChick] wl, better ask her soon, or i will for u

[DannyBoy] Good night, Cassie.

[InterstellarChick] 'night, daniel.

_DannyBoy is offline_

Cassie smiled to herself. It would be just too cute if both Daniel and her mom, and Sam and Jack got together. At least Daniel and her mom were heading the right direction. Sam and Jack were just stagnant; like a pond of gross water.

They were so perfect for each other and . . . let's face it, they were in love. Cassie just wanted them to be happy.

Well, not "just." She wanted to go to a wedding and to play with little Sam'n'Jacks; but, _mostly_ she wanted them to be happy.

She loved Martouf. Martouf was great; but he wasn't Jack. Cassie was secretly glad when Sam and Martouf had called it quits. She did feel bad for Sam, but it left her completely available for bigger and better things; ie: Jack.

Now that Sam was available again, she really hoped that something would convince Sam and Jack to throw regulations to the wind and enact the end of every chick flick she'd ever seen. Wow, Cassie sighed, heart fluttering, that would be romantic.

She sighed again, this time in frustration. She didn't think anything like that would happen soon. Right now she would just have to hope that Daniel finally got over himself and proposed to her mom.

- . - - - . -


	4. Pt I, III Use

Scars and Souvenirs

Part I – Addiction

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Affinity"

Chapter III: Use

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

Jacob watched the "kawoosh," as Sam called it, of the wormhole opening. He activated his GDO code and awaited the _go ahead_ signal. When he received it, he hurried through.

Shantar had told him something was urgent. Jack had called the Alpha Site looking for Jacob and sent a general order to locate him and tell him to get to Earth as soon as possible. A dark feeling gnawed at his gut. He was worried about Sam. What if something had happened? He would never forgive himself if she got hurt and he wasn't there to protect her.

He stepped through the gate in the SGC.

Jack greeted him with wide arms. "Jacob, good to see you."

"What's wrong? Shantar said there was an emergency," he looked around for his daughter. "Where's Sam?"

Jack slouched. "Walter, what did I say?" he around to look at the sergeant.

Walter leaned into the microphone. "You said there was no emergency, it was not urgent, and — I quote — _ask Jacob to mosey by whenever he has the chance_, Sir."

Jacob let out the breath that he didn't realize he had been holding. "Oh," he felt a little foolish as the feeling in his gut vanished.

Jack shook his finger at Jacob. "We need to work on our communication." He swept his arm wide, gesturing for Jacob to follow him to the hallway.

When they made it up to his office, Jack offered Jacob something to eat, to drink, to read, etc.

"Are you alright, you look nervous," Jacob said, noticing Jack's edge.

"_Nervous_?" he repeated. "Not at all. Just waitin' for Carter . . . Sam . . . Colonel Carter," he stumbled.

Jacob eyed Jack, knowing something was up. He had never seen Jack this nervous in his life. Selmak thought Jack looked like he was caught between the idea of running for the hills or dropping to his knees, begging for . . . something.

A few moments later, Sam arrived. Selmak saw the noticeable look of relief on Jack's face. Jacob hugged his daughter tightly and gave her a kiss.

"Hi, Dad," she said. Releasing him, she took up a position between him and Jack. For some reason, Jacob felt like it was a defensive position.

"What's going on?" Jacob asked.

"Dad," she began. "You might want to sit down."

Jacob's eyebrow vaulted. Selmak knew that look; she had seen it many times before in her two thousand years. Samantha had something big to tell them. "What's going on?" Jacob repeated, remaining standing.

Sam pulled her dogtags out from underneath her shirt. Jacob's eyes were drawn to the ring hanging with the identification tags. Even Selmak recognized the ring as one used for engagements. Jacob's jaw when slack.

"Dad . . . Jack and I are getting married," she said.

Before Jacob could respond, Jack started rambling. "Jacob, I resigned. And we didn't just jump into this . . . well, it did happen pretty quickly, but not for why you think."

"Jack," Jacob said, trying to get him to stop talking.

"Jacob, this is important to me."

"Jack," Jacob repeated, a little more authoritatively, but trying to remain unthreatening.

"This is important to us." He stopped himself. It was clear to Jacob that that was probably the first time Jack used the word _us_ meaning Sam and himself in that context. However, the moment didn't last and he continued, "This isn't happening because I happened to resigned. I resigned so this could happen. I resigned for Sam."

Selmak's eyes flashed. "General O'Neill!" Selmak raised his voice ever so slightly, stopping Jack's blabbering. Jacob knew it was the fact that Selmak spoke, and not Jacob himself, that caught Jack's attention.

However, in the interest of calming Jack down, Jacob continued. "Jack, I'm not going to kill you or anything." He forced a small laugh. "Are you always like this when you're nervous?" he tried to lighten the situation.

"I don't know," he replied. "I'm usually not nervous like this."

Jacob shook his head absent-mindedly and took a small step towards Sam. He put his hands on her shoulders. "All I wanted was for you to be happy."

She glanced back at Jack for a split second then smiled. "I am happy."

Jacob wrapped his arms around his daughter. He had had this conversation with her many times before. She had always told him she was happy, and he never believed her; when she decided to delay her application for NASA after Challenger, when she got engaged to Jonah Hansen, when she told him that she preferred her "analyzing deep space telemetry" job to the possibility of space travel. But he believed her now.

"I believe you," he whispered in her ear, knowing that she would understand the significance of those thee words.

- . - . -

Janet stood in the elevator next to Martouf. They were on their way to the briefing room for the meeting General O'Neill had just called. She wondered what it could be about, he had gotten back from on Wednesday and Jacob Carter had arrived this morning. She could tell something big was going on. When they arrived at the proper level, they hurried into the room, the last ones to arrive.

Daniel, Sam, Teal'c, Sergeant Harriman, and Colonel Reynolds were already seated; as was General O'Neill, and Jacob Carter.

She and Martouf took their seats. "Sorry we're late," Janet said, sitting down across from Sam and next to Daniel. She smiled at Daniel, who returned it immediately, before turning her attention to the General.

"Okay," the General started. "I'm just going to say it: I'm resigning my commission."

He was met with, as expected, a lot of noise and people telling him he should stay.

"Hang on a second, hang on a second," he tried to regain control of the meeting. "Now, I know what you're all thinking, but I've been thinking about this for a while now and you can't talk me out of this.

Janet glanced at Sam. She couldn't imagine what she was feeling. Even since before the Za'tarc incident, Janet knew about the feelings between Sam and the General. She wondered what this meant for them.

As she looked back at the General, she realized something about Sam appearance snagged her attention. She did a quick double take, but stopped and stared when she realized what it was. Hanging from Sam's neck, along with her dogtags, was an object; an object that looked suspiciously like an engagement ring.

"_What is that_?" Janet asked, pointing directly at the ring hanging from her friend's neck and drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

Sam's gaze — along with everyone else's — followed Janet's finger and saw the ring hanging from her tags. She looked up, smiled sheepishly, and then looked at the General.

Silently, everyone's gaze drifted to General O'Neill, who flashed a patented O'Neill grin. "And Carter and I are getting married," he added as if he had planned to say it the entire time; which he clearly hadn't.

The room was stunned into complete silence. Shocked beyond all comparison herself, Janet surveyed everyone's expression.

Teal'c's eyebrow vaulted. Colonel Reynolds' jaw was practically sitting on the table. Sergeant Harriman smiled like a giddy schoolboy as his gaze shifted from Sam to the General.

Martouf smiled, but he seemed a little sad.

Daniel furrowed his brow and titled his head. Jacob Carter just looked pleased with himself, and Sam and the General looked a combination of nervous and ridiculously excited.

"What?" Daniel asked after what seemed like an eternity of stunned silence.

"Carter and I are getting married," General O'Neill repeated a little louder and a little slower, leaning in Daniel's direction.

"No. No, I heard you, Jack . . . I just," Daniel said slowly. Not knowing what to say, he paused. "Wow," he leaned forward. "Getting married?"

"Oh, don't act like you're all _that_ surprised," the General said, leaning back in his chair. "I know there was a betting pool."

"You did?" asked Reynolds.

Everyone's gaze shifted to Sergeant Harriman, who shook his head and raised his hands in defense. "I didn't tell him."

"No," General O'Neill clarified, "It was Sergeant Porter. Anyway," he shrugged, "guess who won."

"Jack," Sam scolded accusingly.

He met her gaze. "I'm kidding. I found out about it when I was betting on those two," he gestured to Janet and Daniel,

Janet looked at Daniel, who returned her blank stare.

Jacob Carter just started laughing. "And you people call this a military base."

- . - - - . -


	5. Pt I, IV Intoxication

Scars and Souvenirs

Part I – Addiction

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Affinity"

Chapter IV: Intoxication

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

It was Monday.

Jack hated Mondays. They were always so unpleasant. All the paperwork came in on Mondays: personnel transfers, equipment and supply requests, research project proposals, shipping orders, etc.

He was especially cranky this Monday because he had given Carter the weekend off so she and Jacob could go tell Mark what the hell was going on. Everyone involved felt that they needed to fly to Seattle because telling your sibling that you're marrying your boss is not an "over the phone" conversation.

He had wanted to spend their first weekend engaged together, but . . . Jacob had arrived that Friday, and the news of Jack's resignation had bulleted its way around the SGC, as had his and Carter's engagement . . .

Jack thought it would be a better idea if Carter could get away from all the antsy airmen with, amazingly, nothing better to do than gossip about their CO and the leader of SG-1.

Although, he did find it somewhat amusing. Daniel kept him apprised of all the rumors running around. There were several popular ones.

Someone said that they were getting married because Jack had some kind of incurable disease, and therefore they had nothing to loose. Jack thought it was the one that made the most sense.

Someone else had said that they were getting married to prevent Jack from getting a Tok'Ra symbiote. Jack didn't understand that one.

One rumor said that it was simply a façade to uncover a Trust plot. Jack thought it would make the worst Sting Op . . . ever.

There was one about the Asgard believing that Jack's DNA was the key to the survival of their race and therefore needed him to propagate. Jack thought that was just ridiculous.

However, the story that was on everyone's lips was that Carter was pregnant. And, unfortunately, the more Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, and Doc Fraiser denied it, the more the base personnel thought it was true.

Jack groaned when he saw _another_ complaint from the Mess staff. Once again, the regional quarter master had sent them Yukon Golds, instead of the usual Russets. He was really going to have to do something about that.

His phone rang.

Jack pushed around the paperwork on his desk, looking for the phone. Finding it, he picked it up, "O'Neill."

"_Jack, how's the paperwork this Monday morning?"_ a familiar Texan voice asked.

"Oh, you know, General: very _very_ badly."

"_Potato mix up, again?"_

"Yes, Sir. I was thinking about putting a call through to whatever Two Star at Supply who's in charge of potato allotment and giving him and earful."

General Hammond laughed. _"Now, Jack,"_ his voice dropped slightly, changing the tone of the conversation, _"Jacob called me this weekend."_

"Did he?" Jack leaned back in his chair.

"_He told me you are resigning your commission, but the President is going to try to convince the Senate Appropriations Committee that you're the best _civilian_ for the job."_

"What can I say, Sir? President Hayes just didn't want to see me go, but . . . it was time for me to get out of the Air Force."

"_Sam Carter."_

Jack smiled, remembering the first time he heard that name come from General Hammond's mouth. She held her own against him, Kawolsky, and Freddie. Then she suggested they arm wrestle, in jest, of course. "Yeah."

Hammond chuckled. _"Well, I can't say I'm surprised; I started the pool."_

Jack laughed. "May I ask when, Sir?"

"_Three or four years ago,"_ he replied. _"Unfortunately, my bid was off; Walter had me down for next month."_

Jack laughed again. "He had me down for three weeks ago, Sir."

Once Hammond's laugh subsided, Jack heard his voice drop again and his tone turn serious. _"About that, Jack."_ He paused. _"I've known Jacob Carter since we were bucking Lieutenants."_

"And quite a buck you were, if I recall, Sir," Jack replied jovially, remembering SG-1's trip to 1969.

"_And I've known Samantha Carter since before she could say 'wormhole mechanics'. She has always been very much like a daughter to me. As much as I like you, Jack, and I do consider you a friend . . . if anything happens to her,"_ Hammond growled in a thick Texan drawl, thicker due to the content of his words, _"I have no problem throwing you in Leavenworth for any reason that the federal government would require, dropping you on some uninhabited planet, or enacting any number of extremely unpleasant possibilities."_

Normally, Jack would have tried to joke his way out a situation like this, but he knew better. He sat up straight, somehow thinking it would make him sound more serious. "You're right, Sir." He paused, thinking of anything he could do that would definitely warrant Hammond's wrath. It was the same kind of stuff he had kept an eye on Martouf for. "If I ever do anything stupid enough to hurt her, I'll walk myself Leavenworth."

"_As long as we have an understanding,"_ Hammond replied.

"Yes, Sir."

"_And, Jack,"_ Hammond said, his light tone returning. _"Congratulations_."

"Thank you, Sir."

"_I expect to see an invitation_."

"Of course, Sir, as soon as we have a date." Jack half expected to hear more, but Hammond hung up. He looked up to see Daniel and Doc Fraiser standing in his doorway. "Daniel, Doc, what can I do for you?"

"Jack," Daniel started as Doc Fraiser closed the door. "We wanted to talk to you about Sam."

"Frankly, Sir," Doc Fraiser took an aggressive step forward before Daniel stepped in front of her.

"We decided that I would do the talking," Daniel said quietly.

She exhaled sharply, but yielded the floor.

Daniel turned back to Jack with a smile. "We all care about you and Sam and we couldn't be happier that you two are finally getting married."

Jack could help but stare at Doc Fraiser, who was glaring at him, her arms folded across her chest. He never thought he'd actually be afraid of the small woman, but he definitely felt more than a little scared under her dark gaze. He tried to look at Daniel, but his gaze was continuously drawn to the woman in charge of the large needles, debilitating drugs, and pen lights.

"However," Daniel's voice dropped a little. "Sam is family to a lot of us, especially Janet and myself, and we would never want to see _anything_ happen to her."

Jack slowly nodded, unable to break eye contact with Doctor Fraiser. "I think I get what you're saying."

Her eyes flared in an unspoken threat; then she smiled. "I am so glad you understand, Sir," she said in a cheery voice.

Jack nodded again, watching them leave.

He felt a shiver run through him. _Well, that was scary, _he thought. Shaking off whatever emotion Doc Fraiser had just sent running through him, he got up from his desk. _Cake will make this better_, he thought and headed for the commissary.

He waited at the elevator, remembering Fraiser's gaze. He shuddered again as the doors opened, revealing Jacob, dressed in BDUs.

"Jack, I was just looking for you," he said.

"Jacob," Jack said, "I take it you and Sam are back from Seattle."

Jacob nodded.

"How's Mark?"

"Well," Jacob replied. "He thinks it's a little strange that his little sister is marrying her boss, but . . . I convinced him that if he knew anything about the two of you, he would understand completely."

Jack shrugged. "I can barely believe it myself, Jacob, and I've been living it for years."

"Listen, Jack," Jacob turned and made eye contact. "Everything I have done in my life was done for Sam. I took Selmak because she wasn't ready to let me go. While that worked out pretty nicely, I did it for her."

Jack held Jacob's gaze and felt like he had had this conversation earlier that day; twice.

"So, believe me when I say, and Selmak and I are agreement on this, I would kill for her."

"So would I," he said in a soft, yet stern, voice.

"Don't make me hold you to that, Jack," Jacob said. "And for God's sake, don't make me prove it to you."

Jack didn't respond, not knowing what else to say. He just waited in an uncomfortable silence for the elevator to reach the commissary level. When it did, he almost ran out of it, leaving Jacob behind.

He would kill for her, if he had to. He would kill a lot of people for her, if he had to. He would rather die himself than lose her, and she knew that.

Taking a deep breath, trying to shake off the morbid feelings Jacob had left with him, Jack walked into the commissary looking for cake. Finding a large piece of chocolate, he sat down at an empty table.

About halfway through his cake, Martouf and Teal'c walked up.

"May we join you?" Martouf asked.

"Sure," Jack replied, noticing that neither one of them had any food. "What's up guys?" he asked.

"We would like to offer our congratulations to both you and Samantha," Martouf explained in his usual calm, nearly condescending, tone.

Jack eyed them suspiciously. "Why do I feel like there's another shoe waiting to drop?"

"From where would such footwear be falling?" Teal'c asked.

Martouf turned to him. "I believe General O'Neill was, once again, using a Human idiom to which we are unfamiliar."

"Sorry," Jack muttered, taking another bite of cake.

Teal'c nodded.

"Do you refer to the reveal of unknown or perhaps unwanted information?" Martouf asked.

Jack nodded. "That's what I meant," he sighed.

"You would be correct. I hold you in a great esteem, General, and I realize that I no longer have a responsibility for Samantha as I once did. In addition, I fully respect her ability to take care of herself. However," his voice dropped in a manor Jack had never heard from him, "if your actions caused her harm, emotional or otherwise, I would have to retaliate."

Jack titled his head in a very Teal'c-like manor. He never thought a threat on ones life could sound so . . . civil. "I understand, Martouf."

"I count you among my closest friends, O'Neill. You are my brother. Yet," Teal'c leaned across the table, getting very close to Jack, "any dishonorable actions on your part would be unfortunate." He leaned back and raised his eyebrow. "Unfortunate, indeed."

They stood up together and left, leaving Jack alone with a half finished piece of cake. For some reason, he didn't feel like cake could fix the problem anymore. So, he got up and made his way to Carter's lab.

She didn't look up when he arrived. She was hunched over her lap top, looking like she was doing something important.

"That's really bad for your posture," he said, leaning his forearms on the desk across from her.

She looked up and smiled. "Come to fraternize with the base personnel, General?" she asked.

"Not in so many words," he shrugged.

She chuckled and turned back to her computer.

"Ah, Sam," he said at length, "have your friends and colleagues been threatening you recently?"

She looked up in near complete bewilderment. "What?"

"So you haven't been getting continual threats from half of the people who work here?"

She shook her head and laughed. "No."

Jack nodded slowly. "Must be just me, then."

Sam leaned back from her desk a little. "Who threatened you? What did they say?" she asked with a huge smile on her face.

"Well, I'm glad that you're not concerned for my life," he replied sarcastically.

"I was simply mirroring your demeanor, Sir," she replied in a sassy tone that would not have been acceptable a few years ago.

"Martouf, and Teal'c . . . and your dad . . . and Hammond . . . and Daniel and Fraiser . . . They're all worried about you; worried that I might turn out to be a louse." he paused, thinking of Fraiser glaring at him across his desk. That had really freaked him out.

"Really?" Sam asked, obviously finding it hilarious.

"It was really creepy," Jack said in a half far-away voice.

"Martouf and Teal'c?"

"No," he shook his head. "Daniel and Fraiser. She just kept staring at me." He shuddered. "It was weird." His eyes came back into focus on her. "I'm actually kind of afraid for my life."

"Janet?" Sam asked, laughing.

Jack shot her a look. "Hey, you weren't there."

Sam forced a straight face. "No, no, you're right. Not a laughing matter." She couldn't even finish her sentence before she started laughing again.

He pointed his finger at her accusingly. "Yeah, laugh it up." He started to back out of her lab, maintaining eye contact. "I'd love to see if you're still laughing when I wake up dead."

- . - - - . -


	6. Pt I, V Misuse

Scars and Souvenirs

Part I – Addiction

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Affinity"

Chapter V: Misuse

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

It was warm outside, so Jack and Carter sat on his porch.

He only had one lawn chair, so he sat on the top step of the set of stairs leading to the lawn, leaning against the railing, with Carter half on his lap, half leaning against his chest, his arms around her.

They were quiet.

He didn't know what she was thinking about, but at that moment: he didn't care. He was too distracted by her neck. He had a great view of it from their position. And, it looked great. It was stretched out a little, he could see the taught muscles underneath her skin.

Her skin: mmmm, flawless.

He very much wanted to taste that skin.

He had the feeling that Sam's skin was very much like cake: one bite was not enough.

Finally giving into himself, he leaned forward to capture a taste of her neck, but stopped short as her voice startled him.

"Wanna stick it to the Man?" she asked, turning to look up at him.

Jack leaned back, perplexed. "Generally? Yes."

"Well, let's do it then."

She had the most interesting smile on her face. It may have meant more to him if he had a single idea of to what she was referring. "Do what?"

"Get married."

He frowned, and shifted his eyes. "I don't think we're on the same page here, Carter."

She changed her position so their faces were level. "Let's get married before your commission is out."

A smile to rival hers grew on his face. "I always said you were smart, Sam. I always said it."

She leaned forward and kissed him. He closed his eyes and tried to pull her tighter to him, but she was gone. He opened his eyes and looked around, seeing Sam making a b-line for the house. Confused, he followed her.

She grabbed her shoes and her jacket.

"What just happened here?" he asked, confused beyond all comparison.

Halfway to his door, she turned and met his gaze. "I have to call Janet."

"You_ have to call Janet_," he repeated slowly. "Did I miss something?"

She dropped her jacket over the back of a chair and approached him, slinging her arms around his neck. "I have a wedding to plan in two days."

"_Two days_? Hayes' meeting is a week from today."

She licked her lips. "But I was thinking of a long three or four day weekend." She placed a wet kiss on his lips. "Maybe up at the cabin."

Jack's jaw hung slack at simply the husk of her voice, never mind what she was implying. He finally managed to nod. "That does sound nice," he whispered.

She kissed him once more, and was out of his arms before he could react. "See you tomorrow," he called as she shut the door behind her.

He couldn't move. Damn, she was hot. What the hell was he getting himself into?

- . - . -

Cassie still couldn't believe it.

Sam and Jack were getting married.

She just couldn't believe it.

Her mother had called her on Friday in the middle of the day, leaving her a desperate voicemail that simply said "It's Mom, call me."

Assuming the worst, Cassie called her mom as soon as she got out of class and heard the message.

"_Mom, is everything alright?"_ she had asked as soon as her mother picked up.

"_Guess what!"_ Mom had sounded giddy; very much like a high school girl.

"_Dum dum dadum,"_ _Cassie hummed the first few bars of "_Here Comes the Bride."

"_Who told you?" she asked._

"_I had my suspicions," Cassie replied cryptically._

"_Really? I had no idea. I mean, I knew there was something there, but neither one of them let on to anything."_

Cassie had frozen. _Them_? "Them" was not a term used when referring to oneself. If it wasn't her mom and Daniel, who was getting married? _"Mom, who are you talking about?"_

Her mother paused. _"Sam and the General."_

"_What!"_ That was the last thing Cassie had expected her mom to say.

"_Who did you think I was talking about?" her mom asked slowly._

"_Oh, I don't know . . ." she tried to cover. "Sam and Jack?" she asked, changing the subject, hopefully quick enough to dissuade her mother._

She couldn't believe it. Apparently, Jack had gone to Washington, resigned, come home and proposed. From the way Sam told it, they weren't dating, or thinking about dating, or thinking about anything at all.

She was sitting in front of her computer, trying to write a paper, but she could not focus. All she could think about was Sam and Jack getting married. It was very late, and she thought that going to sleep might be a better option than trying to do homework.

Her phone rang.

She picked it up, saw that it was her mom, and answered it. "Hi, Mom."

"_You are never going to believe this!" _her mom was using that 'excited teenage' voice again.

"What?" she asked.

"_The wedding is on Thursday!"_

"Sam and Jack's wedding?" Cassie shouted. Man, they were fast paced. Cassie looked at her computer when she heard it signal that she had gotten an instant message.

[DannyBoy] While your mom is panicking over color coordination and finding you a dress, I am supposed to find you a way home for Thursday.

"_Yes, Sam and Jack's — the General's — wedding!"_

[InterstellarChick] stall

"Oh my god, what are we going to wear?"

[DannyBoy] What?

"_Well, I'll be in my dress blues."_

[InterstellarChick] where r u?

"Why are you going to be in your dress blues?"

[DannyBoy] Your kitchen.

"_They're having an Air Force wedding to, you know, _stick it to the Man_."_

[InterstellarChick] can mom c your computer?

"I'm still invited, right?"

[DannyBoy] No. She's too busy planning a wedding in two days.

"_Of course."_

[InterstellarChick] u cant ask mom now

"Does Sam even know that I know that they were engaged?"

[DannyBoy] Why not?

"_Yes. I told her that I told you. I think she's going to call you and invite you soon."_

[InterstellarChick] cause u cant steal sam n jacks thunder

"Oh, hang up so she can call me!"

[DannyBoy] Technically, they stole our thunder.

"_Can you get home in time?"_

[InterstellarChick] u snooze, u lose

[InterstellarChick] trust me

"Yeah, Daniel and I are working on it right now. I was thinking I could catch something Wednesday after class."

[DannyBoy] Okay. I'll yield to your judgment.

"_What about class on Thursday?"_

[InterstellarChick] good. so, flight on wed night?

"No problem. I can just e-mail my Profs and tell them that there was a family emergency."

[DannyBoy] I'll see what's available. Just to let you know, your mom probably won't be able to pick you up. You know, wedding stuff.

"_Not far from the truth."_

[InterstellarChick] thats what i assumed

"Right. Anyway, so I'm going to hang up so Sam can call me. I'll see you tomorrow night."

[DannyBoy] Okay, I've got a flight for you. I'll get you the tickets and e-mail you the confirmation and boarding pass."

"_See you tomorrow, Cassie. I love you."_

[InterstellarChick] thanks dan

"I love you, too, Mom. Bye." Cassie hung up the phone. As soon as she did, it rang in with a voicemail. She swore aloud, Sam must have called when she was talking to her mom.

"_Hi, Cassie,"_ Sam's voice said from Cassie's voicemail. _"It's Sam. Just wanted to talk. Call me back when you can. Bye."_ She sounded calm, and collected. Very "Colonel Carter," not "Sam I'm-getting-married-in-two-days Carter."

Cassie called her.

"_Carter,"_ Sam answered.

"OH MY GOD!" Cassie screamed into her phone, mostly for effect.

"_So,"_ Sam answered after a moment. _"I take it you've spoken to your mom."_

"You're getting married in TWO days?"

"_Can you believe it?"_ she asked.

"No," Cassie answered truthfully. "No, I cannot."

- . - - - . -


	7. Pt I, VI Abuse

Scars and Souvenirs

Part I – Addiction

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Affinity"

Chapter VI: Abuse

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

Colonel Timothy Reynolds didn't like being the base commander. Sure, it had only happened once or twice before, but it only took him one time to realize that he didn't like it. It was a lot of running to the gate control room, a lot of "who is it" and "open the iris," and other boring stuff. He got away from Area 51 so he could get away from the boring stuff. He was a Marine for goodness sake. A Marine! Not a desk clerk.

But there he sat, with General O'Neill, Colonel Carter, and Sergeant Harriman, planning out his four-day tenure (Thursday through Sunday) as base commander.

"Well, what about SG-3? They were supposed to disembark for P2J-444 on Saturday," Harriman said.

Carter shuffled through her papers. "What about SG-11? They aren't scheduled off world for another week."

O'Neill shook his head. "No, McCarrick's sister had a baby; she's on leave until Monday."

"What about SG-15?" Tim suggested.

"Excuse me, Sir," an airman walked in. "Colonel," he said looking at Carter, "Doctor Fraiser is on the line, she says it's urgent."

Carter dropped her head. "Janet's at the florist," she said in a defeated tone. "This is the third time in the last hour she's called me."

O'Neill stood up, heading towards the phone. "I'll take care of it."

"Are you sure?" Carter asked.

He nodded. "Making decisions on flowers, how hard can it be?"

"You'd be surprised."

"O'Neill," the General picked up the phone. "Yes, Doctor?" He paused. "She's indisposed at the moment, but I have been authorized to make decisions. . . . Classic."

Carter shook her head and turned back to the folders in front of her. "Fifteen?" she repeated.

Tim couldn't help but listen in on half of O'Neill's conversation. "No yellow; go with red and white. Ooh, and blue if they have them." Pause. "No, it's a real thing."

Sergeant Harriman nodded. "Fifteen is clear."

"Does that take care of all of the off world missions?" Tim asked.

Harriman nodded again. "Yes, Sir."

"Yes, I like gladiolas," O'Neill said and paused again. "Lily of the Valley."

Carter chuckled, obviously listening in, as well.

A white flash filled the room, and Tim turned to see an Asgard sitting on the far side of the room.

"Doc, I'm gonna have to call you back," O'Neill said. "No, it's just that Thor's here. Yeah, five minutes, bye." He put the phone down and turned to their visitor. "Thor! I see you got my message."

"I did," the alien said. "O'Neill," he turned to Carter, "Colonel Carter, on behalf of the Asgard people, I offer you congratulations on your upcoming nuptials."

"Thanks, Thor," Carter replied with a large smile, while getting to her feet and taking a few steps towards the little gray alien.

Tim thought it was strange that O'Neill and Carter were such good friends with the supreme commander of an alien fleet. Well, nothing in his life was all that normal — the stargate, the aliens, one of his colleagues marrying their boss — but this definitely took the cake.

"Civil unions of this kind are highly irregular along the Asgard. I have not attended a ceremony similar a Human wedding in several centuries. In light of this fact, I have taken the liberty of constructing a gift." He held out a small box to O'Neill. O'Neill took it, walked over to Carter and opened it.

Tim watched Carter and O'Neill each take a small object out of the box, they looked like rings.

O'Neill dropped his. "Woah! That's warm."

"It is, O'Neill," Thor replied. "There is a thermodynamic reaction that is directly proportional to proximity."

O'Neill looked at Carter. "The closer they are, the hotter they get," she translated.

Tim looked at Thor. He never would have pegged the little gray alien as a hopeless romantic. Apparently he was wrong.

"As long as the wearers are alive, and within a reasonable distance of their devices, neither will ever go cold; barring any type of malfunction."

O'Neill got on his hands and knees, looking for the ring he had dropped.

"Even across the galaxy?" Carter asked, referring to the fact that they may be on different planets.

"Yes, Colonel. The devices are linked through a subspace connection. They will always produce a small amount of heat, unless, as I mentioned, one of you becomes deceased or is several hundred feet from their device."

Harriman stood up, walked over to the General, and handed him the ring, which had apparently rolled underneath the table. O'Neill took it, and stood, trying to look nonchalant. Tim covered his laugh with a cough, which no one noticed.

Carter hugged Thor, which Tim thought looked awkward. "Thank you," she said.

"You are most welcome, Colonel," the little man replied. "While I would prefer to attend the ceremony, my duties require me elsewhere. Congratulations, once again Colonel, O'Neill."

Before O'Neill could finish saying 'goodbye,' the Asgard was gone. He fitted the ring on his finger and Carter did the same. "It's kind of tingly," he said.

Carter smiled, obviously trying to prevent herself from doing something inappropriate.

Tim looked at Harriman, suddenly feeling like an elephant in the room.

"Ah, Sir," the airman from before stepped through the door again. "Doctor Fraiser is on the phone again."

O'Neill laughed and went to the phone. "Yes, Doctor. . . . Early wedding present. . . . That's right, Lily of the Valley."

Tim chuckled to himself and turned back to the agenda for the next several days. Only here could a man go from talking to an alien to talking to a doctor about floral arrangements. Base commander or not, he loved working at the SGC.

- . - . -

"Cassie, look at this," her roommate said, practically leaning out the window of their dorm room. "There's a military helicopter landing in the middle of the Quad."

Cassie stood up, walked to the window, and watched helicopter begin a descent and touchdown in the courtyard enclosed by the Quad. It had a large "USAF" sticker on the side. Her phone rang.

She picked it up, saw that it read "Gen. Hammond" and picked it up. "General!"

"_Is your dorm room on the inside or the outside of the Quad?"_ the large Texan asked.

The smile on her face grew. "Inside. On the west." She looked down at the helicopter and watched a man circle from one side to the other and look up. The man was General George Hammond. She waved out the window, and he waved back. "What are you doing here?"

"_I heard you needed a ride to Colorado for a day or so. I was heading that way myself._"

"Do you know that guy?" her roommate asked.

Cassie smiled. "Uncle George," she replied.

"_What?"_ Hammond asked.

"I'll be down in a few minutes, just sit tight, General."

He chuckled. _"Yes, Ma'am."_

Her roommate gaped. "You said you were flying to Colorado. I assumed you meant on a commercial airliner."

Cassie laughed and picked up the bag she had already packed. "So did I, but Uncle George likes to travel in style." She headed towards the door. "I'll be back on Sunday."

Her roommate waved. "Have fun."

"Oh, I will." Cassie walked down the hall towards the elevator, smiling from ear to ear. She was going to Jack and Sam's wedding.

- . - - - . -


	8. Pt I, VII Addiction

Scars and Souvenirs

Part I – Addiction

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Affinity"

Chapter VII: Addiction

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

Sam was getting married today.

She felt really nervous.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't look nervous. But she was.

She was getting married today.

She was wearing her dress blues; which, to be honest, really weren't all that flattering. They were a uniform, and well . . . that was kind of the point. Her hair was up in regs, pretty much how it always was, do to its length. She fingered it, thinking about growing it out a little.

Maybe almost to her shoulders, then she could French braid it and pin the end under. She always found that look attractive, but preferred the short style because she chose ease over fashion. Maybe she would change that as a married woman.

She shook herself a little and, for the thousandth time, fixed her collar.

She was really nervous.

She was getting married today.

She heard a knock on her door. "Sam?" her father called gently.

"Come on," she answered.

He came in, wearing dress blues as well, and smiled. "I know this isn't exactly every little girl's dream wedding, but you look beautiful."

She turned to him and smiled back. "Thanks." Then she noticed his tie; his ridiculously crooked and improperly tied tie. She closed the gap between them and started taking off his tie. "I thought tying a tie properly was a skill you never forgot, like riding a bike."

He shrugged. "The Tok'Ra don't dress up like this," he replied sheepishly. "To tell you the truth, this uniform feels a little stiff."

"Well, it looks good . . . or would, if your tie was straight." She finished tying it and dropped her hands to her sides, not knowing what else to do with them.

Her dad smiled and wrapped his arms around her. "Don't be nervous, you're doing the right thing. Mom would be proud."

Sam hugged her father tightly, not needing to reply.

After a long hug, he finally released her and stepped back, taking her hand. "Come on, Sam. You're getting married today."

- . - . -

Janet loved weddings. She always had. She remembered the first wedding she ever went to. She must have been all of eight years old, one of her cousins had gotten married and she had been invited. It had been so magical. Ever since then, Janet had always been the person with joyful tears in their eyes and a stupid, giddy grin plastered all over her face.

That was how she looked, and how she felt, now. It definitely didn't go with her valiant, yet spunky, Air Force Doctor image, but . . . she couldn't help herself.

They were all standing in the foyer of the Academy Chapel, waiting for Sam and her father. Janet thought it was slightly ironic: that Sam, and not the General, was late. Well, technically, she wasn't late, everyone else was just early.

Teal'c, Martouf, and General Hammond were maintaining a pleasant conversation with the Air Force Chaplin. Cassie was trying to calm General O'Neill's nerves, which appeared to be in abundance. She had already confiscated his yo-yo.

Daniel walked over to her and squeezed her hand. "I just spoke to Sam, she said 'Tell Janet we're in the parking lot, and we're not late.'"

"I'm too excited to care," she said, turning to him with an incredibly stupid grin on her face.

He placed a kiss on her cheek. "That, my dear Doctor, is obvious."

"Alright, alright," Jacob Carter's voice came from the entry way with a measured amount of grandiose sarcasm. "We can get this show on the road: the bride's here."

Janet took the opportunity to glance at General O'Neill, who seemed to be as calm as a summer's day. She mentally shook herself; she knew she was getting carried away if she was making bad cliché analogies.

They all shuffled into the sanctuary, realizing it would be ridiculous to have a procession with a whole ten people involved in the wedding. Janet did notice that Jacob had offered Sam his arm as they walked to the front of the church. He looked so . . . proud. Janet just couldn't handle it.

This was so perfect.

She tried to wipe the obnoxious grin off her face, but did not succeed. Her best friend was getting married . . . to the love of her life. The man she had loved for at least four years, probably five, six . . . seven years.

Heck, Janet was even kind of in love with him. He was good looking, funny . . . charming in an inappropriate manor. He was no Daniel Jackson, but . . . She was so happy for them!

- . - . -

Sam and Jack both sat in Jack's truck outside Jack's house . . . their house. It would be where she lived too, soon enough. Sam couldn't remember the last time she had so many butterflies in her stomach. She couldn't believe herself, being so nervous.

It actually made her a little ashamed of herself.

But, then again, Jack hadn't moved either since he turned the truck off. She was pretty sure it had been less than a minute ago, but it felt like an hour. She was painfully aware of the ring on her left hand, cooking away; leaving a warm, almost tingly, feeling in her hand.

"I guess we could go inside," she said, finally.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah."

Neither of them moved.

Taking a deep breath, and swallowing hard, she forced the butterflies to be still. Sam leaned over the console, turned Jack's face towards her own and kissed him. As she pulled back, she gently grating her teeth over his bottom lip. She didn't smile, she thought she would have, but she didn't.

His eyes were a little wider than usual and his jaw hung slack.

"I'm going inside," she said. Sam got out of the truck, and swaggered into the house, knowing he would follow her after he remembered how to breathe again. She turned the ring on her finger. It had grown a little hot when she kissed him.

She helped herself to the bedroom, and carefully removed her dress uniform, hanging it up on its hanger properly. She smoothed down her satin slip. She didn't normally wear such elegant underwear, but today was her wedding day.

She heard Jack enter the room behind her. She could tell he was standing still, perhaps unsure of what to do, perhaps still trying to remember how to speak.

"I suddenly feel dangerously overdressed," he said at length.

She smiled to herself and stood on her toes to hang up her dress uniform from the curtain rod. She turned to see him staring at her, hands frozen on the buttons halfway down his shirt.

"Whoa," he breathed. "You are _so_ hot."

Another her, in another life, probably would have been stunned speechless by a comment like that, but she smiled gently with soft eyes.

Sam helped Jack with the remaining buttons on his dress shirt and slid it off his shoulders. He stripped his t-shirt over his head, leaving his chest bare. She slung her arms around his neck and found herself in a kiss before she had had time to think.

His hands ran down her sides and settled high on her thighs. She could feel the heat his ring was producing on her skin, sending a cold shiver down her spine.

She backed him up to the bed. She knew he had no idea what was happening when the backs of his legs hit the footboard and he started, tightening his grip on her and lifting her off the floor for half a second.

Stifling a giggle, she shoved him back onto the bed. He pushed himself back a little and rested on his elbows as she crawled up his length, stopping mere inches from his face.

He leaned up into her and captured her lips.

"_Hell_," she thought her last coherent and reasonable thought for the evening, acutely aware of his warm, worn, yet soft hands gliding tantalizingly slowly up her thighs and hips, catching the satin fabric, _"I could get addicted to this."_

- . - - - . - _Fin ~ Part I_ - . - - - . -


	9. Pt II, I Shock and Denial

Scars and Souvenirs

Part II – Grief

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Reckoning, Pt I," "Reckoning, Pt II," and "Threads."

Chapter I: Shock and Denial

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

"Isn't the fact we haven't heard from Rak'nor kind of a bad sign?" Colonel Carter asked, she was concerned about the situation, not the plan. Bra'tac knew that is was only her nature to be concerned.

Bra'tac made eye contact with Teal'c. Neither of them would admit it aloud, but not hearing from Rak'nor was of some concern. However, retreating at such a crucial moment would be inadvisable. Before either of them could respond, an alert informed them that a ship was approaching.

"What?" General O'Neill asked. Bra'tac was fully aware of the fact that O'Neill was no longer a general, but Teal'c had informed him that the title remained as a force of habit, as well as a sign of respect. Bra'tac, respecting O'Neill extremely, continued the use of the title.

"Ship's sensors have detected a vessel closing in on our position. Ha'tak class," Bra'tac informed them.

"Rak'nor?" Daniel Jackson asked.

"Unlikely," concern crept into Teal'c tone. "Rak'nor would have hailed long before his approach."

"Then it has to be Amateratsu," Colonel Carter looked from the readout display to Teal'c and Bra'tac. "Shouldn't we get outta here?"

Bra'tac glanced at Teal'c. Retreat clearly was not the preferable option, but Colonel Carter was correct. Facing Amateratsu's fleet singlehandedly was generally not a sound battle plan. However, they did contain the System Lord security codes.

"Teal'c, the odds are not in our favor," Daniel Jackson attempted to change their minds one last time.

"They never are, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c answered assuredly.

"I am hailing them and transmitting the security codes," Bra'tac informed them as he raised Amateratsu's ship. Moments later, the ship shook as they were fired upon. "They have fired upon us," he reported. The ship shook again before he could react. "Shield strength is down sixty percent," he said in disbelief.

"How is that possible?" Teal'c voiced everyone's concurrent thought.

"What the hell did they hit us with?" Colonel Carter asked, clearly rhetorically.

Teal'c took position at the weapons console. "Returning fire." Bra'tac watched his own console and immediately knew they had done no damage.

"Our weapons are ineffective," Teal'c informed them.

"We have lost shields," Bra'tac announced after a third volley.

"Alright, kids," General O'Neill clasped his hands. "I think it's time for us to go."

Bra'tac attempted a retreat, however the controls would not respond. "Navigational controls are not responding. We must evacuate."

"Gliders?" Daniel Jackson suggested.

"We can use the rings to transport to the planet below and escape through the Stargate," Teal'c countered.

"Rings it is," General O'Neill decided, heading towards the ring room, following Teal'c.

In the hall, Teal'c paused. Bra'tac heard something as well.

"What is it?" Colonel Carter asked, her voice above a whisper.

The door at the end of the corridor opened to reveal a foe Bra'tac hoped he would never have to face in earnest: Replicators.

"That's not good," Daniel Jackson stated.

Teal'c turned away, towards an alternate route. "This way." Bra'tac followed Teal'c, even as the Tau'ri stopped to fire at the Replicators, slowing their pursuit. In a mere second or so, a bright light, akin to the Asgard beam, magicked General O'Neill and Daniel Jackson away.

"Jack!" Colonel Carter shouted, reaching out to where he had been.

Teal'c took her arm. "Colonel Carter," he urged her to flee with them. Her feet seemed glued to the deck. "Colonel Carter!" Teal'c said more forcibly, touching her arm.

She turned and followed them, her eyes showing that her mind was not truly processing what she had seen. She was in shock, but Bra'tac could hardly blame her. He placed his hand on her back, making sure she continued to hurry.

She smiled at him, reassuring him that she was okay.

Bra'tac nodded in response, but knew better than to believe her.

- . - . -

Jacob walked down the ramp in the SGC and looked around for Sam, as he always did. Sometimes she was there to greet him, other times she was not, but he always looked for her. He was met by Colonel Reynolds, not Jack as he had suspected.

"Welcome back to Earth, General Carter," Reynolds offered his hand.

Selmak found it amusing that much of the base personnel did not know how to address him. They weren't on a first-name basis, so they chose "general" as his title, even though his tenure with the Tok'ra had all but annulled his Air Force commission.

"We have a problem, is Jack around?" Jacob asked.

"I'm afraid not, Sir. He and SG-1 are off-world at the moment. They're expected back this evening or tomorrow. Can I help you until they return?"

Jacob nodded and headed out of the gateroom. "The Replicators have launched an all-out attack on the Goa'uld. If the Goa'uld can't find a way to stop them, the Replicators will easily overrun our galaxy in a matter of weeks."

Out of the corner of Jacob's eye, he saw Reynolds' jaw drop, before he recovered quickly. Selmak found it amusing. "What can we do?" he asked.

Jacob held up the device he had brought with him, a Tok'ra network receiver. "This is a receiver that will allow me to tap into the subspace network. We can keep tabs on Ba'al's fleet, see how their battle with the Replicators is faring; we can also get up to the minute Tok'ra intelligence reports from our agents in the field."

"Forgive me, Sir," Reynolds asked, leading Jacob to a lab, "but I didn't think you were on such good terms with the Tok'ra council."

Jacob harrumphed. "I'm not." Selmak was a little out of sorts with the Council after they confronted him about Jacob.

_"Your current host has influenced you a great deal more than others have_," they had said.

_"You're damn right," Selmak said, using one of Jacob's mannerisms. "Jacob Carter has influenced me a great deal more than any other has. Samantha is my daughter!"_ He meant it, too. Samantha _was_ his daughter, as much as she was Jacob's. While it was the blending with Jacob that sparked his feelings for her, as they spent more time together, Selmak became more and more convinced that he would have liked her anyway. Would have loved her anyway.

So, after a short time, Selmak realized that he loved her. Selmak realized that he would do anything for her.

And, after a short time, they knew that Sam came to love them both. Sure, Jacob was her father, and —frankly — she was somewhat obligated to love him. But, Selmak gave her a reason to get to know him again, and she did. She came to love her dad again, and Selmak in the process.

That was one of the things that drew Selmak to her. Some would have withdrawn from them in fear or disgust, especially after what had happened with her and Jolinar, but Sam didn't. Sam reached out to them, and (once again, and for the first time) became their daughter. And he loved her. That was why he was here today.

That was why they were hanging on. That was why they were fighting what was happening.

The Goa'uld were a vile race and needed to be extinguished. But, the Replicators were a scourge and needed to be wiped out before they could take total control.

Jacob would not let Selmak leave until they could figure out how to stop the Replicators. The Goa'uld were a terrible fate, but they both knew that Sam would be relatively safe from them.

"That's why they don't know that I took it."

Reynolds didn't answer for a moment, obvious surprised. "Well . . . Thanks."

"Selmak," a familiar voice said.

Jacob turned to see Martouf entering the lab behind them. Selmak had known Lantash for a long time. He had an immense amount of respect for the Tok'ra, but had felt somewhat relieved to learn that he and his daughter had ended their relationship. Martouf and Lantash were good men, but they were not good enough for her.

Jack . . . Jack was reckless and disrespectful. But there was something about him . . . He _was_ good enough. In fact, he was more than good enough. He was the only one who Jacob and Selmak trusted to take care if her when they were gone.

"I see you didn't accompany SG-1," Selmak commented. Jacob silently scolded himself for sounding so harsh. Selmak, too, regretted it, but since fighting his own death, he was getting short with people.

Martouf nodded. "No, they are meeting with Master Bra'tac and a contingent of Free Jaffa. I thought it would be best if I remained behind. As you well know, tempers between the Free Jaffa and the Tok'ra are still hot. While I am not as high a ranking officer with the Tok'ra as I once was, the Jaffa see me no differently. I can only assume the situation is the same with you."

Selmak smiled. "They don't like what Jacob Carter has done to me. I, however, quite enjoy the man I've become. Not to mention my previous connection to the Tau'ri." He glanced at Reynolds, who was beginning to look around nervously, probably wondering if he should leave.

Reynolds smiled when he realized he was being invited back into the conversation. "So, General," he steered them back to the original cause of Jacob's arrival, "what do you have to show us?"

It only took him a few seconds to interface his transceiver with their computer system. "These dots are tagged Goa'uld motherships," he explained.

"What are we looking for?" Reynolds asked, leaning towards the screen.

"Just wait."

One of the dots blinked out and was replaced by a "lost signal" message.

"What happened?" Martouf asked.

"The beacon stopped transmitting. That means the ship was either destroyed or taken over by the Replicators," Jacob explained.

Reynolds stood upright. "I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing." He weighed his hands, "Goa'uld. Replicators."

"It is better to deal with the devil you know," Martouf offered.

Jacob smiled, thinking it was funny that Martouf was finally catching on to some Tau'ri expressions. "Well . . . Just wait." He entered a few commands and the transceiver display zoomed out to display the entire galaxy. Ships were blinking out randomly, several a minute. "This is the entire quadrant."

Reynolds swallowed hard. "This is bad."

Before Jacob could agree, Sergeant Harriman came over the loudspeakers as a klaxon blared, "Unscheduled off-world activation." He jumped up and followed Reynolds and Martouf to the 'gate room. They arrived to see an open wormhole with Sam, Teal'c, and Bra'tac walking through it.

None of them looked very happy.

"What happened?" Reynolds asked. "Where's General O'Neill? Doctor Jackson?"

"They were beamed away before our very eyes," Bra'tac said.

"By Replicators," Teal'c explained.

Martouf and Reynolds shared a quick glance. Jacob wrapped his arms around Sam and gave her a quick kiss. "Are you okay?" he asked just loud enough for her to hear. She made eye contact and nodded, but Jacob knew she was putting on a brave face.

That was one thing Selmak couldn't decide if he liked about himself. Jacob was always putting on the "brave-soldier act" and had taught Sam to do the same thing. Sam never wanted to ask for help. Selmak admired her strength, but didn't want her to become isolated.

"There's only one reason I can think of: my duplicate. She knows the greatest threat the Replicators have ever known is the disrupter technology that Jack built using Ancient knowledge."

"She is immune to that now," Martouf offered.

"Yes, but Replicators always seek out the most advanced technology. She may be worried that there's other Ancient technology out there that could be a threat to her and the rest of the Replicators," Sam explained.

"Daniel Jackson had access to the knowledge of the Ancients when he was ascended, and O'Neill did as well when he had their repository downloaded into his mind," Teal'c said.

"I thought neither one of them had access to those memories?" Jacob asked. Sam would know that, too, and so would her duplicate. But from what he heard about this "Repli-Carter" as Jack had called her jokingly, she was _creative_ in a maniacal sense. Selmak was a little scared that someone who was based entirely on Sam could become so cruel. But it came down to nature verses nurture, and Selmak knew that Jacob was a loving father while Fifth was a psychotic villain.

"We don't know that for sure. Daniel has remembered certain things from when he was ascended, and we don't really know what the Asgard did to get the repository knowledge out of Jack's mind. She may think that everything she needs to know about the Ancients is buried in one of their subconsciouses. If it is there, she'll find it."

Jacob caught the hint of fear in Sam's voice. She was worried about Jack and Daniel, more so Jack —most likely. She turned the ring on her left hand with her thumb. If she was outwardly fidgety, she was really scared.

- . - . -

Jack woke up with a warm body pressed up against his side. He opened his eyes to see his arms wrapped around a familiar long legged, blue eyed blonde. He inhaled deeply, catching the scent of her fruity shampoo. He adjusted his grip on her, to stop his arm from falling asleep.

As he did, her hand that laid across his chest gripped his Air Force t-shirt.

He smiled. "I know you're awake," he said quietly.

He saw her smile. "I'm not awake," she whispered.

He pulled her a little closer to his face. "Liar."

Sam looked up at him, smiled, and kissed him. "How's your head?" she asked.

"My head?" He lifted his head off the pillow slightly, but dropped it immediately, as it started to throb. "Pounding?" he replied, closing his eyes. "What happened?"

"What's the last thing you remember?" she asked.

He clenched his eyes and racked his brain, feeling her eyes upon him. "Bra'tac and Teal'c?" he was guessing. He couldn't remember . . . something. What was worse was that he couldn't remember what it was he had forgotten.

"That's right," Sam said. She shifted her position to lean on his chest. "Amateratsu's fleet. The attack was successful. We gated back to the SGC. Remember how the handrail of the staircase from the control room to the briefing room was loose and you kept telling Siler to get someone to fix it?"

He nodded slightly, trying not to move his head too much. The throbbing was subsiding, but he still had a nasty headache.

"Well, you were at the bottom of the stairs, yelled to Siler at the top. You asked if the stairs were fixed. He said in a minute, and next thing you knew he dropped a wrench right on top of your head."

"A wrench did this?" he asked.

She gently fingered the top of his skull, which he found was painfully bruised and swollen. "Know that really big crescent wrench?"

"Why the hell was he using that?" he started to sit up, but she pushed him back down. He obliged her, his head pounding again.

"He and Walter have a bet. Siler says he can do anything with that wrench. Walter disagrees. Right now Siler's winning, he fixed the staircase and gave you a concussion."

He opened his eyes and saw her looking up at him from his chest. Something was different about her, but he couldn't put his finger on it; he pushed the thought aside and blamed it on the concussion. "Why are we here then, at home?"

Sam shrugged. "Janet wanted to keep you, but I said you'd just be mad when you woke up in the Infirmary, that you'd be happier at home. I promised to call her every few hours with an update. Speaking of which," she rolled away from him and grabbed her phone off of the nightstand. She dialed and waited a second. "Janet? Sam. He's awake. . . . Lucid? Yes. . . ." she turned to him, "sensitivity to light or sound?"

He shook his head, but stopped immediately, and held his head which started to pound again. He really needed to stop doing that.

Sam stifled a giggle. "No, but he is sensitive to motion. He can't lift his head. . . . Yeah, I'll make sure he says in bed for a few hours." She let out a laugh. "As a mule," she said, obviously referring to his stubbornness, "but I can _be very_ persuasive."

Jack smiled and reached his hand over, resting it on her hip. He liked the sound of that.

She slapped his hand gently. "Alright, Janet, I'll call you in a few hours. Make sure Reynolds calls us if there's a major problem. . . . No, I won't let him leave the house. I'll tie him down if I have to."

Jack smiled. He liked the sound of that, too. He slung his hand around her hip again and gave her a little tug, causing her to roll back towards him.

She smiled at his giddy grin. "Right, Janet. Bye." She leaned back and placed her phone back on the night stand before sidling up to him."You faker. You just don't want to go to work."

He slipped his hand under her night shirt and rested it on her waist. "No, my head feels like it's been run over by a truck . . . but, as long as we're in bed all day . . ." He pulled her up onto his chest, she straddled his hips for balance.

She laughed. "You can't move, remember?"

Pushing down on her back he brought her face close to his. "I don't have to." He kissed her once before she sat upright again. "Mmmmm, I feel better already." He could feel the ring on his hand heating up, almost causing a gentle throb in his fingers.

Letting loose another laugh, slowly leaning forward to lie on his chest. She ran her hands up his sides before kissing him back. "You really are incorrigible."

- . - - - . -


	10. Pt II, II Pain and Guilt

Scars and Souvenirs

Part II – Grief

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Reckoning, Pt I," "Reckoning, Pt II," and "Threads."

Chapter II: Pain and Guilt

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

"I don't get it," Reynolds said. "What makes this place so special?"

"The temple at Dakara is sacred to all Jaffa," Teal'c explained. Selmak chuckled inwardly, _what an explanation_.

Jacob glanced away from Bra'tac and Teal'c, who continued their explanation of Dakara's significance, to look at Sam. She was staring out the window at the stargate, lost in thought. Jacob didn't have to imagine how guilty she felt. He had felt the same thing several years ago, with the death of his wife.

But, Jack's being taken by Sam's Replicator doppelganger was even less her fault than her mother's death was Jacob's fault. However, he knew there was little he could say to convince her.

"And you really think this place is gonna make a difference?" Reynolds asked.

Teal'c and Bra'tac offered another explanation and Jacob took a couple steps towards his daughter. He put his hand on her shoulder, which she took and squeezed gently. She was trying to tell him she was okay, but he knew better. She was not okay.

At that moment, both Jacob and Selmak were grateful for each other that they could be there for her, and they made a silent pact that they would always be there for her when she needed them.

"Excuse me, Colonel," Sergeant Harriman announced himself. "We've been contacted by Commander Thor. He said he's ready to trans-"

A white light engulfed Sam as she was beamed onto the Asgard ship.

"You were saying?" Jacob said.

"Never mind." Harriman smiled ruefully to himself and left the room after a moment of standing awkwardly.

Jacob looked out at the 'gate, thinking of Sam. Sam was definitely putting on the brave soldier routine, and they would be there for her when she simply couldn't pretend any longer.

- . - . -

Something wasn't right. He wasn't sure what it was. But something definitely wasn't right.

What made him angry was that he couldn't figure out what it was. It seemed like a thousand little things. He couldn't tell what was wrong with them, but they seemed _wrong_.

It was the way Sam kissed him. It was the way she fit in his arms. It was the way she slept curled up next to him. She had been stretching out recently, citing that her back hurt. In fact, she hadn't mentioned anything about it since he woke up with a splitting headache.

Maybe it was just because she didn't want him to worry about it; him recovering from a major concussion and all.

Plus there was that thing that he wasn't remembering. The longer he couldn't remember it, the more it concerned him. He knew it was important. He thought it was dangerous. He just didn't know what it was.

He actually started to think that he might be crazy; that he had some kind of paranoia. Honestly, who thought that there was something wrong with their life because 'things didn't seem right' and they couldn't remember something that they weren't even sure they had forgotten?

Jack took a deep breath and turned back to his Guns 'n' Ammo magazine. For some reason, he had the overwhelming urge to buy another gun. Something big, something big enough to blow something to pieces. A shotgun would be nice.

He wondered if his urge to buy a shotgun had something to do with whatever he couldn't remember. Or maybe he really was going crazy.

- . - . -

"Hello again, Samantha Carter," Thor said when Sam materialized on the bridge of his ship.

"Hi, Thor," she waved and forced a smile.

"I have already transported your research and the remains of the human form Replicator to this lab. We may continue our work from here."

"Any progress on your end?" she asked, trying to concentrate.

He began to answer her, but she wasn't listening. Her gaze was drawn to the replicator pieces sitting on a small table.

"Colonel Carter?" he said her name, trying to get her attention.

"Sorry, what?" she turned back to him.

"Is everything alright?"

She shook her head. "They have Jack and Daniel."

"_They_?" he repeated. "You mean the Replicators?"

She nodded.

"The knowledge they once had would be very advantageous in this conflict. However, neither Daniel Jackson nor General O'Neill have access to those memories."

She nodded again. "I know. But what if they did?"

"We would be faced with a larger problem than we thought. We may need to resort to more drastic methods in isolating the cipher the Human-Form-Replicator introduced into her system."

"You mean we need to trigger a subspace connection between these bits and the rest of the Replicators? That's a little wild and crazy, Thor."

If Thor could smile, Sam was sure he would have. "I learned such thinking from you."

- . - . -

Replicators.

Jack woke with a start.

Replicators. That was it. That was what he couldn't remember. Replicators.

"Jack?" Sam asked, her voice thick with sleep. She must have felt him start.

Replicators. There were Replicators involved in all of this. Something, he wasn't sure what, triggered the memory of when Sam had been captured by Fifth. She said he had created a dream world for her, so he could try to live their lives out together.

The thought suddenly occurred to him that he was in a dream world. That was where he was right then. That was why things didn't add up right. The woman snug to his side wasn't his Sam at all, but her evil Replicator copy.

"Jack, are you alright?" _Sam_ asked, picking her head up off his chest.

He shook himself. This was ludicrous. He had a concussion. He was just being paranoid. His wife wasn't a Replicator. He settled back into the mattress. "Yeah," he whispered. "It's nothing, go back to sleep."

He adjusted his grip on her and pulled her tighter.

Did he seriously just suspect his wife of being a Replicator? He must really be going crazy. But, he knew he was going crazy, so that was probably a good thing. . . . Or maybe it was a really bad thing.

He fiddled with the warm ring on his finger and tried to fall back asleep. His wife wasn't a Replicator, and he wasn't crazy. At least, that was what he was trying to convince himself.

- . - . -

"You lied to me," Daniel said calmly.

"What?" Sam's evil twin asked.

"You promised you'd leave Earth alone. There's Replicators infiltrating the SGC right now."

"How can you know that?" She regarded him carefully for a few moments, working it out. "While I was in your mind, you were inside mine," she concluded.

He smiled darkly. "Took a while to figure out. Fortunately you were too distracted to notice. Some of the Ancient knowledge really helped too, thank you."

"You tricked me."

Daniel almost laughed, almost. "You tricked me first."

"You should never have told me."

"Too late, for you, that is."

She reached towards his head but Daniel grabbed her wrist. She tried to shake him off but couldn't. He was in control now.

"Trying to leave? Sorry, a little more time in Danny's world."

"My brethren will not stop," she threatened. "You cannot control them."

"Not yet. " His tone darkened, "But I'm learning."

- . - . -

"How are you holding up?" Sam asked Janet upon walking into her office.

The good doctor, who was buried in paperwork, looked up. "You're back." She sounded a little surprised, but far too distracted to notice. "As well as can be expected," she answered after a moment. "You?"

"Been eating a lot of blue Jell-O," Sam shrugged sheepishly.

Janet forced a smile.

Sam sat down in the chair in front of Janet's desk. "Do you remember Rya'c's wedding?"

Janet burst into laughter. "Daniel should have known better than to trust Bra'tac."

_"Alright, Doc, where do you want him?" Jack asked as he and Sam maneuvered through the Infirmary doorway; Daniel half-suspended between them._

_Janet pointed to one of the beds._

_"Ya know, guys, this really isn't necessary," Daniel slurred, trying to get his feet underneath him._

_"Come on, Daniel. This is your own fault," Sam said, "You shouldn't have let Bra'tac refill your glass so many times."_

_"It was a mug," Daniel said indignantly, looking over at Sam. "Hey," he sounded surprised, "I know you."_

_Sam smiled and nodded. "Yeah, you do."_

_Lined up with the side of the bed, Jack nodded at Sam. "On three," he said, and counted up. On _three_, they shoved Daniel backward._

_He landed with an "oomph," and just stared at the ceiling._

_Jack grabbed Daniel's feet and swung them around onto the bed. "You gonna be alright, Doc?" he asked._

_She smiled. "Well, this isn't exactly the evening I had in mind, but . . . I'll be fine. I didn't have any of that stuff."_

_Jack gave himself a shake. "Jaffa homebrew. Nasty stuff, and I only had half a glass."_

_Fraiser laughed. "Go sleep it off, you might slightly less terrible tomorrow morning."_

_"Yes, Ma'am," he said, turning towards the door._

_"Good night, Sir."_

_"Good night, Doc," he replied, not looking back, but throwing a hand in the air._

_Sam smiled at Janet, feeling the effects of the Jaffa liquor in her system as well. "Night, Janet," she said following Jack._

_"Night, Sam," Janet called after her before turning back to Daniel. "What am I going to do with you?" Sam heard her ask Daniel._

Sam looked up at Janet, their smiles fading. "I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Janet reached across her desk and squeezed Sam's hand. "I know it hurts, but it's not your fault."

"I can't help but feel that it is."

Janet smiled kindly. "Why don't you go a get a few minutes sleep. You'll feel better."

Sam stood up with a deep inhale. "You're right. Thanks . . ."

She headed towards the base quarters she and Jack shared. He never liked to stay there, preferring to get off base. But, on the many nights she worked late she could always count on climbing into a warm bed next to a certain retired Brigadier at zero three thirty, waking up at zero seven, and waking him up around zero eight.

She couldn't help but remember the night of Rya'c wedding. She had followed Jack back to their quarters, their eyes meeting after she closed the door behind her.

They stood impossibly close, their blood warm from the Jaffa liquor which they both promised never to drink again.

She smiled remembering that the next morning she had found a Jack O'Neill sized handprint bruise on her thigh, not to mention the dark marks covering her chest.

She curled up on her side upon reaching their quarters and their bed. Her duplicate had learned betrayal from Fifth, and he had learned it from her. She was guilty. No matter what Janet said.

- . - . -

He had woken up with missing memories yesterday morning, and woken up remembering Replicators last night. Now, he just sat in his chair in the living room, thinking.

He didn't want to believe that his wife was a Replicator. He didn't. He trusted her, but maybe that was that point. He trusted her. She made him feel relaxed. Perhaps that was it, she needed him to be relaxed to search his mind for Ancient knowledge, even though he was pretty sure it was all gone.

All of the weird things he felt would be completely explained by his concussion. But that just seemed too easy.

Weren't you not supposed to go to sleep directly after a concussion?

Plus, Fraiser would never have released him. Never.

He looked across the house, to Sam in the kitchen. She was standing still, lost in thought.

"Sam?" he called softly.

She seemed to snap out of whatever held her and smiled. "Yeah?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, you just seemed pretty far away."

She shook herself gently. "Just daydreaming."

He nodded and turned back to his magazine. There was just something about her. . . . He had to wait for her to slip up.

The entire afternoon, he kept an eye on her. She seemed preoccupied. She would randomly stop and stare, but never for more than a few seconds. It was like something big was on her mind and she just couldn't handle it.

He noticed that 'staring moments' begun to last longer. So he got up and walked towards her. The ring on his finger was warm, but not heating up. He reached out and took her left hand, it was freezing.

Instantly, she looked up at him and smiled. "Was I lost again?"

"Why is your hand cold?" he asked coolly.

She shifted her eyes, looking uncomfortable. "What do you mean?" she asked.

The ring on her hand warmed up underneath his fingers, as did his own. He smiled darkly. "Gotcha."

"What?" She looked scared.

"What the hell is going on here?" he hissed.

She leaned back a little. "Jack, you're scaring me."

He shook his head and stared at her through suspicious eyes. "No, I'm not. You're not scared because you're not Samantha Carter."

He didn't know what it was, but something about her changed. Her posture seemed different, her gaze turned steely, and he saw her for who she really was: the evil Replicator version of his wife. "How did you know?" she asked in a voice colder than ice.

He shook his head. "I didn't."

She titled her head. "There must have been something."

"It was a lot of little things. A lot of little things that told me you weren't her." Jack let go of her arm and took a step back. "Oh, don't worry. You did a good job. I really felt bad about suspecting Sam of being a Replicator. But . . . well, I don't feel bad anymore.

"I just want to know why? Was it just because you needed me to relax so you could peer into my mind? 'Cause I didn't think you were _that_ low . . ." He left the words unspoken. He couldn't even say them. They slept together. He hoped that this was all in his head, but then again, it didn't really matter. Whether he actually did, or he just remembered it, he slept with a Replicator.

Her eyes softened, doing a fair impression of Sam. "You and I both know that the Ancient knowledge in your mind is gone. This was never about that."

He didn't know what to think. He couldn't imagine what this was about if it wasn't the Ancient knowledge. He really wasn't the greatest hostage. Sure, he knew everything about the SGC, but the Replicators never had a problem taking over it before. The time or two they had been in the base, they basically overrun the whole thing in a matter of minutes.

"Do you really think I am so dissimilar from your wife?"

"You mean other than the fact that you are a crazy psycho trying to wipe out all life as we know it, and replace it with your own kind so you can rule the galaxy? Yeah, yeah, I think you're_ way_ different."

"You would be surprised, then. I was created from her thoughts, her memories, her emotions, her feelings . . ."

Jack's jaw almost dropped, but he held his composure just enough to keep it firm. "You're lying," he said simply.

She shook her head. "This was never about any of the knowledge you posses, it was about you."

Jack was taken back; that was a little freaky. The evil Replicator lady was in love with him. He shuddered involuntarily at the thought.

Before either one of them could say something, she looked off into the distance. "Unfortunately, things are not going as planned. I cannot stay." She disappeared before his eyes and his house shimmered into a small grey room. He walked to the closest wall and saw that it was made of Replicator blocks.

Jack jumped back, and looked around. The walls were all exactly the same. There was no door, no window, no nothing. Sinking down to the floor in the center of the room, he waited.

He had no idea what was going on, and even if he did: there was nothing he could have done.

- . - - - . -


	11. Pt II, III Anger and Bargaining

Scars and Souvenirs

Part II – Grief

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Reckoning, Pt I," "Reckoning, Pt II," and "Threads."

Chapter III: Anger and Bargaining

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

Daniel's eyes popped wide open as he got it. It was a revelation. It was almost like enlightenment.

The Replicator gasped and opened her eyes in shock.

"Got you now."

- . - . -

Jack may or may not have fallen asleep, but when he woke up, he was in the easy chair in his house. He felt his ring warm up as Sam came into the room with a cheery smile.

He jumped up. "Oh, no, no, no. I don't believe a thing." He remembered being on the Replicator ship. "I know exactly _what_ you are," he practically spat the word.

Her gaze turned steely and her smile darkened as she continued to approach him slowly.

He backed away from her and found himself backed up to a wall made of Replicator blocks. His left hand felt like it caught fire.

"Your Samantha Carter is about to activate a weapon which very well may destroy all the Replicators in the this galaxy. I don't know if I can stop her. I've no idea what's going to happen next," she said, "but you _will_ remember me when I'm gone."

- . - . -

The Replicator smiled as Daniel begun to lose control. "There are so many, aren't there. Too many for your mind to handle. It's taking all your concentration just to control them."

Daniel frowned as he lost control. She was stronger than he was.

The walls around him dissolved into a cell on a Replicator ship and the next thing he knew, a large sharp object was sticking straight through his abdomen. The Replicator pulled her augmented arm from him and smiled.

He dropped, holding the wound. He knew he was done for. He just hoped he had given everyone enough time. Enough time to do something. Enough time to save the galaxy. Enough time to save Janet.

- . - . -

"Dad, they're on the move again!" Sam shouted back at them, who was trying to get the modulation for the weapon correct.

Jacob tried to ignore her, concentrating on the readouts before him. Selmak wanted to hit the control on the left. Jacob was leaning towards the one on the top right. Selmak was sure. He was sure that he had figured out, at least to some extent, the algorithm which adjusted the frequency. Jacob had a gut feeling.

Selmak reminded himself that he didn't have a gut, and was simply sure.

Taking a deep breath, and doing against his gut and, instead, with his symbiote, pressed the control on the left.

He anxiously watched the readout adjust itself. "Point 76!" he shouted upon seeing a positive result.

"Do it!" he heard Sam shout at him.

He definitely didn't need to be told twice. He slammed his fist down on the activation button and felt the ground shake. Jacob congratulated himself and apologized to Selmak for ever doubting him while the weapon activated. He heard the wormhole initiate, and made a silent recognition to Ba'al for getting his part done.

He was tired. Selmak was tired. But, they did it. They had held on long enough.

He walked away from the panel after the energy wave pulsed through him, giving Selmak a little tickle, and joined Sam and the others. He was smiling, as were the Jaffa and Airmen.

Sam was staring at her left hand, which was shaking slightly.

"Sam?" he asked, taking a step towards her.

She looked up at him with the eyes of a child who just woke up from a nightmare. "It's cold," she breathed.

His face softened in realization. He opened her arms and she stepped into them without hesitation, burying her face in his shoulder. He knew she was crying silently, she couldn't put on the brave face any longer. And he would have given anything at that moment for her not to have to put on that brave face.

Selmak and Jacob decided they needed to hang on a little longer, because it was cold.

The ring Thor had given her. Jack was dead.

- . - . -

On one hand, she really didn't want it to be true.

On the other hand, it would be the only thing, besides her memories, she would have left.

It had been almost a week since Daniel and Jack had been taken by the Replicators, and the Replicators had been destroyed. She kept saying that if either one of them were alive, they would have heard something by now.

Janet disagreed. Until she saw a pair of bodies, they were simply MIA.

The cold ring on Sam's left hand told her otherwise.

Sam walked into the Infirmary and looked around for Janet. She caught the attention of one of the nurses, who pointed her to Janet's office. She thanked the airman and headed there. She knocked on the door and entered when Janet answered.

"Sam," she smiled, "take a seat."

"Well?" she asked, sitting uncomfortably in the chair.

Janet sighed and handed over a folder containing test results.

Sam opened it and searched for the answer she needed. When she saw it, she dropped the folder on the desk and covered her mouth with her hand, tears coming to her eyes.

"You're right," Janet said at length. "You're pregnant."

"I don't know what to do," Sam said, attempting to hold back her tears.

Janet got up, circled her desk, and sat down on it in front of Sam, taking her free hand. "You're not alone, Sam."

She shook her head. "That's not what it feels like from where I'm sitting." She was suddenly very aware of the cold ring on her finger. It was probably actually the same temperature as her skin, but after it feeling warm for so long, it felt cold now.

"I don't think he's dead," Janet said after a moment of silence.

Sam looked up at her with cold eyes. "Forgive me if I don't believe you," she said, probably a little too harshly.

"He can't be dead," Janet repeated with a little more force.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because he has to be taking care of Daniel."

- . - - - . -


	12. Pt II, IV Depression

Scars and Souvenirs

Part II – Grief

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Reckoning, Pt I," "Reckoning, Pt II," and "Threads."

Chapter IV: Depression

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

Janet sat in the Briefing Room with Teal'c, Bra'tac, Colonel Reynolds, Jacob Carter, Martouf, and Sam. They were having a general debriefing about the destruction of Anubis and the plan to destroy the weapon.

To be honest, Janet wasn't really paying attention. It had been over a week since they had heard from Daniel and General O'Neill. She was getting worried. For the past week, she had tried to be encouraging. But, Sam was right, if they were alive they would have heard from them by now.

Thor's subspace communication ring had gone cold when the weapon at Dakara destroyed the Replicators. General O'Neill was probably dead. She was beginning to think the same of Daniel, but when the self destruct paused at three seconds, everyone got this sneaking feeling that Daniel had saved them.

If he was Ascended, Janet found it hard to believe that the Ancients would allow him to return again. They wouldn't let Ascension become a 'get out of jail free' card.

"One can only assume he was vanquished by some beings. If not, why would he forfeit the weapon and his army?" Janet came back into the conversation as Bra'tac pointed out, about Anubis.

"You think?"Martouf asked Sam.

"I do," she replied. "It's the only thing that would explain the self destruct not going off."

"Of what do you speak?" Bra'tac asked.

"Colonel Carter and Martouf believe that Daniel Jackson was somehow responsible," Teal'c explained.

"No, it wasn't me!" came a familiar voice.

Janet froze stiff and looked around, she would have known Daniel's voice anywhere.

"Did anyone else hear that?" Colonel Reynolds asked.

Everyone nodded slowly.

"I'm in here!"

Janet jumped up from her seat and practically ran across the room to the door to the General's office. Standing behind the small piece of wall between the large window and the door, stark naked, was Daniel Jackson. She threw herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck. "Daniel!"

He put one arm around her, the other still preserving some sense of modesty. "Janet, you know I'm glad to see you, but . . ."

She let go of him, "Oh, right." She turned around and looked for something. Seeing the SGC flag, she ripped it from its standard and handed it to him. He wrapped it around his midsection and took a step into the doorway. He smiled sheepishly.

Teal'c, Bra'tac, and Martouf smiled at his embarrassment, but where definitely glad to see him. Jacob shook his head as if admonishing a small child who had done something incorrect, yet adorable.

Colonel Reynolds burst into laughter, but covered his mouth. "Sorry, sorry, that was inappropriate," he apologized.

Tears flooded Sam's eyes and she jumped up from her seat. "Excuse me," she muttered as she rushed out of the room.

Martouf stood to follow her out.

"Give her a minute," Jacob said, stopping him.

Daniel looked around. "What did I do?"

Janet squeezed his arm.

"Where's Jack?" he asked, noticing the General wasn't there.

Janet looked up at him. "He wasn't with you?" she asked.

"Do you know where I just came from?" he replied with incredulous sarcasm.

She shook her head. "No, I mean when you were with the Replicators. You two weren't together?"

He shook his head slowly. "No. Was he supposed to be?"

"The Replicators took the General when they took you. He was probably on one of their ships when they were all destroyed," she explained quietly. Janet was sure that Sam just realized the only reason Daniel survived as because he Ascended. From what Janet knew of Ascension and of General O'Neill, he wouldn't try to Ascend.

So, it was true: Jack O'Neill was dead.

After a few moments of a respectful silence, everyone all thinking the same thing, Daniel coughed, bringing attention back to himself. "Ah, Janet, perhaps I should . . ."

"Oh, right! Clothes! And I should check you out," her voice caught. "Examine you." She cringed again, feeling her face flush. "Medical exam," she finally spit out. She took a deep breath, admitting her embarrassment, and took his arm. "Come on."

They stopped by the locker room. Daniel entered, and returned a few minutes later, fully clothed. They walked silently to the Infirmary and Janet gave him a standard examination, took some blood and sent it off to the lab.

"What do you remember?" she asked quietly.

"I remember everything, this time," he answered in a soft voice.

She looked down at the clip board in her hands.

He tipped her head up, saw her tears, and smiled. "It's okay."

She threw her arms around his neck. "I thought you were dead." She heard him inhale deeply, taking in the scent of her fruity shampoo. He rubbed her back. She didn't need him to answer, and he didn't.

- . - . -

Jacob stood outside his daughter's lab. He was waiting for her to call him; for her to come to him. He knew she knew he was there, and was simply waiting for her.

Martouf walked by, but paused when he saw Jacob. He made a vague gesture which asked 'why are you out here instead of in there.'

Jacob smiled. "I'm waiting for my daughter to decide if and when she needs me."

Martouf nodded. "I believe I will go to her," he said.

Selmak smirked. Lantash always thought he knew what was best. He was an arrogant Tok'Ra if there ever was one. Jacob shook his head. That was a little untrue. Lantash was a good Tok'Ra, but since Martouf and Sam's relationship soured, he couldn't help but think Martouf was constantly being smug. Perception was a funny thing.

He listened in on Martouf and Sam's conversation, which was probably not the kindest thing for a father to do, but he did anyway.

"Samantha, I very much know how you feel."

Martouf paused, but Sam said nothing.

"I just wanted you to know that I am here for you, and if you need anything . . ." he didn't finish his sentence, the words not needing to be said.

"Thanks, Martouf," Sam muttered.

There was a moment of silence. "You know where you can reach me," Martouf said. Seconds later, he was walking out of her lab. He shrugged at Jacob, giving him his best 'I tried' look.

Jacob flashed him a 'thanks for trying' smile, and settled back against the wall.

Several minutes later, Teal'c walked by. He nodded at Jacob before walking into Sam's lab. "Colonel Carter," he said, "while I respect your choice to remain in solitude at this time, I would like you to know that if you need anything I will be more than pleased to oblige."

As with Martouf, Sam was silent for a second. "Thanks, Teal'c," she replied.

There was another pause, and Jacob assumed that Teal'c was making a slight bow, or something. Then Teal'c appeared in the doorway. He nodded at Jacob and went on his way.

Jacob shook his head again. They were quite cliché, weren't they? A sad realization came over him again, Jack hated clichés. Sam was probably thinking the same thing. He was tempted to talk to her, but waited. She would come to him when she needed him.

Arriving on what felt like a cue, Doctor Fraiser and Daniel rounded the corner. Daniel pointed to Sam's lab, a silent question to whether she was there or not. Jacob nodded and watched Daniel and Doctor Fraiser walk in.

"Hi, Sam," Daniel said.

"Sorry for not being a little more receptive to your homecoming," she said. "I really am glad that you're back."

"Yeah, me too." He paused. "When I was with the Replicators," he began, "Jack wasn't there."

Even though he couldn't see her, Jacob knew that Sam gave Daniel a curious look, wondering where he was going.

"On the Replicator ship, I didn't see Jack. He wasn't there. He could have been anywhere."

"The ring went cold, Daniel," Sam said. She sounded almost angry, but mostly disappointed. "I just have to . . . um," she paused, and sniffled back some tears.

"Listen, Sam," Doctor Fraiser said, "If you-"

Sam cut her off, "You know what I really need right now?" she said with a thick voice.

"Anything," Fraiser offered.

"I really need to not hear the words _if you need anything_ again."

Selmak almost chuckled aloud. She was tough. Jacob did raise one little spitfire.

"Alright," Doctor Fraiser said.

"We're just gonna go, then," Daniel said.

Jacob heard Sam sniffle again. "Yeah, thanks." She called out to them as they got to the doorway. "I really am glad you're okay, Daniel."

Daniel nodded. "I know."

Daniel and Doctor Fraiser nodded to Jacob and left.

Jacob had started playing with a loose string on his tunic when he heard Sam, "Dad?"

He stood up, smoothed his tunic, and walked into his daughter's lab. "Hey, Sam," he said simply. She was sitting at her desk, in front of her computer. She had pulled up a picture from her wedding. It was one of the last ones Doctor Fraiser had taken.

Sam had been trying to walk away, but Jack grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back into the picture. They both had huge laughing smiles on their faces. Selmak's heart hiccupped upon seeing it, Sam looked so beautiful, so happy.

She looked up at him, her eyes full of tears. "I never expected this to be so hard," she said.

He took a step towards her. "It gets easier," he said. "A little."

"Dad," her face contorted, holding back tears, "I'm pregnant."

Normally, Jacob and Selmak would have been overjoyed at such news. However, things were different now. He took a step towards her and offered her embrace. She stood up into it, and buried her head in his shoulder.

Jacob closed his eyes and rubbed her back. At that moment, neither he nor Selmak could think of one thing which would make someone feel more hopeless than a being a young widow preparing to become a single mother.

He felt like he had lied to her. He told her that being happy didn't always have to end in pain. But here she was, getting ready to raise a baby without a husband, who had been killed in action.

Now was that time that Selmak and Jacob agreed on before. Now was the time that she needed them. And they would never leave her like this.

"It's okay," he whispered. "You're not alone. You'll never be alone." And so help them, Jacob and Selmak would always make sure that it was true. He would never make himself a liar again. He would rather die than make himself a liar about this.

- . - . -

Sam got out of the car and walked towards the house. She paused on the deck, somehow unable to enter. Teal'c took the keys from her outstretched hand, unlocked the door, and held it open for her.

She forced a toothless smile and stepped inside the empty house. The really, really empty house.

Determined to get out of there as soon as possible, she hurried to their bedroom and grabbed a few necessities and threw them in a bag. She didn't want to have to come back.

She was mildly aware of Teal'c moving about in the kitchen, no doubt checking expiration dates on the food in the refrigerator.

Sam made her way to the bathroom to get her toothbrush and other such supplies. She kicked a towel that had been left in the middle of the bathroom floor. It was Jack's towel. She had told him to hang it up. She was always telling him to hang it up.

She picked it up, furious for a moment that he was always leaving things lying around. She was going to have to scold him when he got home.

She froze as she analyzed her last thought. He wasn't coming home. She was never going to have to pick up after him again.

Teal'c found her several minutes later, sitting on the side of the tub, barely able to breath because of racking sobs. Without changing his expression at all, he knelt down and pulled her into his arms. She clutched his shirt and cried into his shoulder.

He wasn't coming home, and she was never going to have to pick up after him again.

- . - - - . -


	13. Pt II, V Reconstruction

Scars and Souvenirs

Part II – Grief

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Reckoning, Pt I," "Reckoning, Pt II," and "Threads."

Chapter V: Reconstruction

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

Daniel followed Janet into her house. He turned and locked the door behind him. When he turned back towards her, she was holding her phone out to him. He took it, it was dialing Cassie.

He listened to the phone ring.

"Hi, Mom," Cassie said through the phone, expecting Janet. She sounded sad, yet comforting.

"Hi, Cassie," he said.

"Daniel?"

He threw the phone away from his ear as she screamed into it. "Daniel! You're alive! I . . ." She took a deep breath, and quieted down. "I, um," he could hear tears in her eyes, "I'm glad you're okay."

"Same here, Kiddo."

"Is Jack home, too?" she asked after a minute.

Daniel paused. "No," he said quietly. "No, he didn't come back."

Cassie was silent for a moment. "So he's gone," she said. She was silent for a few more seconds. "I'm glad you're back."

"I know you are."

He heard her sniffle. "You know, I've got a test tomorrow. I'd love to . . . but I should go to bed."

"It's okay, Cassie. Call us if you need anything."

He hung up the phone, and looked back at Janet. He shrugged. "She doesn't know how to feel. But that's okay. I don't know how to feel either.

Janet fell into his chest, tears in her eyes.

- . - . -

Daniel lay on his back with one hand behind his head and the other fiddling with a few strands on Janet's hair. She lay on his bare chest, her hands underneath her chin.

They were both thinking about Jack and Sam, he knew it. Janet had told him that Sam was pregnant. He could only imagine how she was feeling.

Janet said that he and Jack had been gone for about a week. He wondered how it was possible for Sam's entire life to have crashed down in a single week. But it had.

As much as he hated to admit it, he knew, that for Sam, things were going to get worse before they were going to get better.

"I don't ever want to leave you, " he thought aloud.

She smiled. "It's a nice thought."

He knew that his words didn't really mean much. Jack sure as hell didn't want to leave Sam. But he did. And now he was gone.

He lifted his head up a little, for a better angle at her face. "I mean it, Janet. I don't ever, ever, want to be away from you. I may no longer know what _forever_ is, but I know I want to spend it with you."

She smiled, again, at his sentiment, but she didn't understand what he was trying to say.

"Janet, will you marry me?"

The smile spread across her face. She leaned forward and kissed him. "If you promise to quit ascending to a higher plane of existence, leaving me waiting in a corporeal body . . ."

He kissed her lips and nodded. "I promise."

"Then: Yes, I will marry you."

- . - . -

"Dad?" Sam asked as she walked into the Isolation Room.

Jacob folded his arms, feeling awful. He was ruining her life, and he knew it.

"I'm sorry, kiddo. We both are," he said.

"About what? What's going on?' she asked.

"I wanted to be here for you. We wanted to be here for you."

"Dad?" Her eyes began to water.

Seeing her almost crying again crushed his heart. "It's Selmak . . . He's dying."

"Oh my God," she took his hand.

She was a strong girl, but she was at her rope's end, and Jacob knew that. He hated himself for putting her through this.

"I'm sorry," she said and forced a smiled. "I did like him."

"And he loves you, which is why he's holding on." Selmak wasn't willing to leave Sam, neither was Jacob.

Selmak had been sick, but Jacob hadn't wanted to let him go. Jacob had needed him. Now, this thing with Sam . . . They were both going to hang on for her. They were going to hang on until she didn't need them. Then they could let go.

"I didn't have Jolinar that long, but I think I have some idea of what it's like."

Jacob shook his head. "Well, this a little different, Sam. In order for Selmak to prevent me from dying like Jolinar did with you, he would have to commit an amount of energy that he simply doesn't have."

"What are you saying?"

"I need to know that you're going to be okay."

"Dad?"

"We're hanging on for you, Sam."

"We?" she repeated.

"We need to know you're going to be okay."

"What are you saying?" she asked a little more forcefully, tears beginning to drip down her face.

"I'm gonna die with him."

- . - . -

Sam sat in the Observation Room adjacent the Isolation Room her father and Selmak were dying in.

Her entire life was crashing down around her.

Two weeks ago, things had been perfect. She had the greatest job. She had the greatest husband. She had the greatest friends, the greatest dad, the greatest . . .everything.

Then an evil Replicator version of herself took the father of her unborn child hostage, and he had been killed when the Replicators were destroyed, and now her father was dying.

Her eyes were surprisingly dry. She guessed that, recently, she had cried herself out.

She knew that in the coming days, more tears would come.

When they would finally have a memorial service for Jack. When they would lay her dad in the ground. When she noticed the baby growth in her waistline. When she felt the baby kick for the first time. When all those cliché things that new parents were supposed to experience together happened.

But she was going to have to experience all those things by herself.

She felt alone. Really alone.

There were few times in her life that she felt like it was her against the galaxy. Once was when her mother died. Once was when she took Cassie down to the bottom of the nuclear test bunker. Once when she was trying to save Jack from being marooned off-world. Once when she was marooned, herself, on the Prometheus.

They were few and far between. Most of the time, it was her and at least one other person against the galaxy. More often than not, that one person was Jack.

Sam watched the Tok'Ra with her father. She was going to miss Selmak. Her father always doted on her, but Selmak wasn't afraid to tell it like it was, straight to her face.

Selmak didn't leave her father because he wanted to be there for her. He wanted to make sure that he was never alone. But here she was, about to be alone.

She thought about being alone in that empty house. She didn't want to go back to that empty house. A house that would be quiet until it heard the sound of a baby crying, or a pair of little feet running around. She smiled at the vision of a little brown eyed boy or the little blonde headed girl that they had never really talked about, but both had imagined.

She had dreamed that dream so many times, for many years. A pair of little feet running towards the door when Jack's truck drove in and jumping into Daddy's arms.

But that dream was empty now. It was just a pair of little feet, and a picture on a mantle of a man the owner of those feet would never know.

She didn't want to go back to that empty house.

She had gone back a few times since Jack had gone missing, but someone had always come with her. Once it was her father. Twice it was Teal'c. Once it was Martouf.

She thought about her friends and suddenly sat up a little straighter. That was what Selmak and her father were trying to tell her. She wasn't alone. She was never going to be alone.

A thousand visions popped into her head. Janet playing Major Matt Mason with a small child. Daniel reading a little kid to a sleep. Teal'c holding a giggling child upside down by the ankle. Martouf racing a three year old around the yard, in and out of the house.

She wasn't alone.

It didn't have to take a village. But she wouldn't be raising this baby alone. She wasn't alone. She never had been alone, and she would never be alone.

She stood up with a smile on her face.

Her dad could go now. She was going to be okay.

She took one step towards the door and froze in her tracks.

Jack.

. . .

He was there. He was alive. He stood tall, lopsided, but tall. He was leaning on a crude pair of crutches. Her eyes travelled down to see his knee bandaged.

But he was alive.

She reached out, placing her hand on his chest. He was real. He was real and he was alive.

His left hand curled around hers. Her eyes widened at the sight of his left ring finger. Melted into the flesh was metal. His ring had been melted into his hand. That was why didn't work any longer.

"Sam," he breathed.

She threw herself at him, almost knocking him off balance. She wrapped her arms around him and tucked her head into his chest.

She knew he was searching for something to say as he pressed her closer to him. She also knew that he didn't have a clue what to say. "You don't have to say anything," she said, feeling a lump building in her throat and tears welling in her eyes.

She didn't know how long he held her, but they were interrupted by Martouf at the door. "O'Neill!" he sounded shocked. Well, she had been, too. After a second, Martouf composed himself, "Samantha, he's asking for you."

Sam kissed Jack's lips and hurried into the Isolation Room. She took her father's hand and kissed his forehead. "It's okay, Dad. I'm gonna be okay."

"Jack?" She could barely hear him.

"Yeah, but it's not because he's back. It's because you were right. I'm not alone, and I never will be. You were right." She laughed just a little.

"I love you," he half-whispered, half-wheezed.

She squeezed his hand. "I love you, too, Daddy." And he was gone.

- . - - - . -


	14. Pt II, VI Acceptance and Hope

Scars and Souvenirs

Part II – Grief

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Reckoning, Pt I," "Reckoning, Pt II," and "Threads."

Chapter VI: Acceptance and Hope

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

"Sir, you're going to need surgery on that knee, there's no way getting around that," Doc Fraiser told Jack when she entered the Infirmary again. "You ripped your ACL to pieces, you need a new one." She glanced at Sam, "In light of the past several days, we can delay the procedure if you _stay. off. it_."

Jack nodded. He'd been hobbling around on a busted knee for seventeen days and was definitely ready to give it a rest. "No problem, Doc." The staff had kept him off his knee pretty well, but he did demand to take a real shower by himself, away from nurses and orderlies. It had hurt like hell, but he was clean and it felt great. However, they did march —not exactly _march_ — him straight to the Infirmary once he was dressed again.

"I'm going to keep you here for another hour or two while the rest of your blood tests come in, but then I'll release you to base quarters." He opened his mouth to speak, but she glared at him. "If you're good, it'll only be an hour."

He shut his mouth and folded his arms, doing a passable impression of a child in a tantrum.

"That's a good boy," she replied in response to his 'fit.'

He and Sam watched her walk away. When the good doctor was gone, Sam sat down on the side of the bed and took his hand in her own. She smiled as tears formed in her eyes. "I'm really glad you're okay," she said.

"C'mere," he muttered with soft eyes. She leaned forward into him and he wrapped his arms around her. "I know this sucks for you."

She choked on a laugh. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you," he whispered.

He felt her shake her head. "It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry anyway."

He closed his eyes and held her. There was so much he had to say. There was so much that he wanted to tell her. He needed to tell her about what had happened between him and her Replicator duplicate. He had to tell her about what happened after the Replicators were defeated. He had to tell her about the longest seventeen days of his life.

But all of it seemed like it could wait. It felt like it could wait forever.

A cough from the doorway interrupted their moment of silence. He loosened his grip on her and looked up, seeing Reynolds in the doorway. He let go of Sam and she sat up, turning to see their guest. She wiped her eyes, attempting to reassert her 'Colonel Kick-Ass Carter' persona.

"If this is a bad time . . ." Reynolds muttered, looking uncomfortable.

Jack shook his head. "It's alright, Reynolds. The Infirmary is a good place to bug me, because when I get released, I'm shooting anyone who comes through the door."

Reynolds smiled, feeling better about the situation. "Hammond called, apparently the President wants to know where you've been for the past week and a half."

"In the middle of no where." He gestured for Reynolds to take a seat. The Colonel pulled a recorder out of his pocket, turned it on, and motioned for him to continue. Leaving out everything that had happened with the Replicator, he retold his story. He started with the Replicator ship he was on disintegrating underneath him, dropping him a good thirty feet to the ground. Luckily, his legs had broken his fall.

He had laid on the ground for a long time, wondering what the hell had just happened and where the hell he was.

_He sat up, looking around. He was in an indescribably average field on a huge pile of Replicator blocks. His knee hurt like hell, plus, it was swelling and turning different colors. He was no doctor, but he was certain that was bad. _

_Jack looked at his hands. His right seemed normal, but his left was far from it. The ring that had once rested on his finger was now melted into the skin. He ran his other fingers over it. It was almost a seamless transition from skin to metal back to skin. It didn't hurt, but it itched like hell._

_He itched it for a second, while looking around. He was trying to plan something, but had no idea what to do. It was obvious that he needed to get to the stargate, but there was no guarantee that this planet even had a stargate, and he had no what of guessing which way it was. _

_Deciding he was hungry, he reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a granola bar. Munching on it slowly, he continued to observe his surroundings. He decided that he would head towards the sun and hope for the best. _

_Jack struggled to his feet, avoiding putting any weight on his bad leg, his right. He tested it a little. Well, there was good news and bad news. The bad news was that it hurt. The good news was that it only hurt a little more with weight than without. So, taking slow and careful steps, he headed towards the sun._

_He stopped every fifty feet or so and took a short break. Every five hundred feet, or so, he sat down and took a long break which included stretching his aching muscles and massaging his throbbing knee. He figured he had traveled nearly a half a mile before the sun got near the horizon. He decided to make a little campsite before it got dark and wait out the night._

_So ended Day Two (Day One being spent entirely in a dream world of Replicator design.)_

_The next two days were very similar. He travelled a lot, took several hours to rest at the height of the sun and continued on until dusk. He had no idea if he was heading in the right direction, or any direction at all for that matter._

_Midday, on the fifth day, he was resting next to a tree and heard something. Someone (or something) walking, stalking, through the woods. He looked around, and saw nothing. "Hello?" he called out._

_Whatever it was he heard stopped. He called out again. Whatever it was begun again and approached him. He smiled when he saw what had made the noise, a pair of young men, perhaps in their late teens. They both held weapons, crude but most effective._

_They pointed their weapons at him. "Who are you?" the smaller one asked._

_Jack held up his hands. "My name is Jack. I need help."_

_"How did you get here?" the smaller one spoke again._

_Jack thought for a moment, hoping his story sounded probable enough for these boys not to kill him. "I was a captive of some bad guys and they brought me here. Their spaceship . . . was destroyed and I was left behind. I'm just trying to get to the stargate." They stared blankly at him. "Chop . . . Choppy . . . Choppa," he tried to spit out the Goa'uld word for the stargate. "Chaapa'ai!" he finally spit out. _

_They regarded him carefully. "Of what _bad guys_ do you speak?" the larger boy asked._

_"We call them Replicators. They're little mechanical bugs."_

_The smaller one smiled. "We know of these Replicators. Our Lord Ba'al destroyed them to save us."_

_"_Your Lord Ba'al,"_ Jack repeated. Well, at least there was a good possibility that this planet had a stargate._

_The two young men helped him back to their village, and to their elder. The elder said that they would help him get to the stargate, but Jack had to recover some, unable to make the journey in his current state. But, at least the planet had a 'gate._

_He spent the next week in their camp, nearly immobile. An old woman, who was the village leader's wife, would not let him move. She had a very large stick which she used to threaten children and Jack. She shook it at him whenever he tried to move. Her name was Nara, and Jack came to respect her._

_She kept him company, at first simply telling him about their way of life, and how 'their savior, Lord Ba'al' had protected them on numerous occasions. He feigned amazement, not wanting to rock the boat. If he told them that he and Ba'al were not the greatest of friends, they would probably be bound by their faith to turn him over to Ba'al; which did not sound fun at all. So he said nothing about Ba'al at all._

In telling the story, Jack left out the part about how Nara asked him about his life. She asked him what he did, which he told her he was a soldier in the service of his leader: Hammond. She asked him about his family, and he told her about his brothers, Teal'c and Daniel, his little sister, Cassandra, and his beloved wife, Samantha.

Nara had seemed touched by the mention of his 'beloved wife' and he told the old woman about the most important person in his life. He told her about how Sam was brilliant and saved his life on more than a few occasions, and was more beautiful than anything 'Lord Ba'al' could conjure.

After eight days, the swelling in his knee went down considerably, and was only slightly larger than his good knee; but still every color but the one it was supposed to be. On Day Fourteen, they set out for the stargate. The two boys who had found him in the woods escorted him to the stargate, a day journey which turned into three.

_"Thank you," he said to them upon reaching the 'gate. "You don't know how much I owe you."_

_They smiled. "Lord Ba'al encourages us to help others. After all, we all strive to do his work," the smaller one said._

_Jack smiled and nodded, before turning to the DHD. He dialed home, activated his GDO and hobbled towards the event horizon. Taking once last glance at his new friends, he smiled, waved, and walked through the stargate. _

"And you know the rest," he said.

Reynolds clicked off the recorder and stood. "Thank you, O'Neill. I'll make a report to Hammond. I'm not sure, but I'm guessing they're going to make you take leave until the Doc clears you."

Jack nodded. "Well, that just leaves you some more time of being the base commander, the job you love so much."

Reynolds smiled, acknowledging Jack's bad joke. Suddenly unsure of what to do, or how to act, he looked around and make an excuse to leave.

Jack watched him leave and took a hold of Sam's hand again once he was gone. "The longest seventeen days of my life," he said quietly.

She kissed his forehead. "Mine too."

- . - . -

Sam shared a little bit of Jack's diner, which one of the nurses brought to him. She didn't eat much, not feeling hungry, but she ate half of a tuna sandwich anyway. About forty-five minutes after she left, Janet returned with blood test results and released Jack, finding him free of any diseases, viruses, or other foreign materials.

Determined, Jack declined a wheelchair and crutched to standard quarters.

"Sam," Janet caught her arm before she left the Infirmary. "He's okay, but he needs his sleep. He should refrain from any strenuous activities."

Sam smiled. "I understand," she said, following Jack. While she couldn't think of anything better than what Janet was suggesting they refrain from, Sam was completely drained, not to mention her father had died that day. Some things just didn't feel right.

Sam opened the door to the room and found Jack lying under peeled back covers on the bed. He had stripped down to his boxers and put on an Air Force t-shirt. She knew he wasn't asleep yet, but he lay quietly with his eyes closed.

Without saying a word, she kicked off her boots, removed her socks, stripped down to her skivvies and crawled into the bed next to him. She stretched out along his length, resting her head on his chest.

"Feels good," he muttered.

She mumbled an affirmative. After a few seconds of trying to sleep, her mind was swimming. She had to tell him about the baby. She had to tell him. "Jack?"

He rubbed her back. "I have a lot to say, too, but it's nothing that can't wait until morning."

She stretched up and kissed his cheek. He was right, it could wait until morning. Settling back into his arms, she fell into the best sleep she'd had in seventeen days.

- . - . -

Jack was already awake when Sam woke up; which was strange because she was usually the first one to get up. She craned her neck and saw that his eyes were wide open. Something must be wrong, not only was he awake, but he had been for some time.

She reached to place a kiss on his jaw and then settled back into the crook of his arm.

"Morning," he said with no hint of sleep in his voice at all.

"Want to tell me about it?" she asked instead of the cliché 'are you okay?'

He exhaled heavily. "Yes . . . and no." He tilted his head down to look at her, "but mostly yes."

She removed herself from his arms and left several inches of space between them, feeling that he needed space to breathe. She turned to her side and propped her head up on her hand.

Jack turned his head towards her. He looked guilty. She wasn't sure why, but he did.

After taking another breath, he spoke, "You remember telling me that when you were being held captive by Fifth, he created a dream world in which you were living on a farm in Montana with Martouf?"

Sam nodded.

"Well, she . . . your Replicator, did the same thing to me." He paused. "You knew almost immediately that it wasn't true. Well, she learned from Fifth's mistake. I believed it."

She considered reaching for him, but she felt that there was more. There was something big that was bothering him.

"It was our house, and you said — she said — that I had a concussion, which is why I didn't remember anything. She had this great story about how Siler dropped that honkin' wrench of his on my head." He smiled, though darkly, before continuing. "She was you, Sam."

"I know it's hard," she said.

"You don't know," he met her gaze with cold eyes.

"Part of you feels kind of bad for them, but most of you feels betrayed."

"I slept with her."

The words hung between them like a thick fog. He did have a good reason to feel guilty. Sam didn't know what to say. She was suddenly very grateful for the fact that she was not wrapped up in his arms.

"I mean, not really, because she wasn't really there; it was all in my head and I didn't know it was her, I thought it was you," he was blabbering. She had only seen him like this once before, when they told her father that they were getting married. He was nervous beyond all recognition then as well.

Sam's stunned look faded into understanding. He didn't cheat on her, he had been . . . taken advantage of. "Jack, it's okay. It wasn't your fault."

He flashed a dark smile. "You know me, I was the instigator."

"You didn't know."

"Ignorance is not an excuse."

"Normally, I would agree," she put her hand on his shoulder. "If we were any two other people in the galaxy, we would not be having this conversation. But the truth is, I had an evil duplicate who could create fantasy worlds within someone's mind. It's not your fault that you couldn't see through that, she showed you what you wanted."

"That doesn't change what it feels like." He fumed for a moment. "Sam, I feel like I cheated on you."

She shook her head. "But you didn't. I'm not going to hold this against you." She leaned towards him and kissed his lips softly. "Sorry about the cliché, but I know where your heart is."

He faked a smile. "I think I'm going to hang on to this a lot longer than you are."

She smiled softly. "That's okay." She sidled closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "I can only imagine what you're feeling right now, but remember: it wasn't your fault. You did nothing wrong."

He tightened his arms around her. "Maybe one day I can believe that, too." After several seconds, he continued. "There's more. When she knew that she was going to be destroyed, she went into my mind. She made me relive every moment we've ever had together. Every moment." He shuddered. "It all feels wrong now. All my memories feel . . . dirty."

"That's okay," she whispered. "We'll just make new memories."

They laid quietly for several minutes, simply enjoying each other's presence. Sam wanted to tell him about their baby, but the timing felt all wrong. She considered that the timing may never feel right. They weren't going to be able to stay like that forever. She was going to have to get some work done, and Janet was going to want to run a few more tests and plan for Jack's operation.

The timing would never be quite right, but there was no time like the present.

"Jack," she said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"We're going to have a baby."

She felt every muscle in his body tense up and his breath catch in his throat. He shifted to his side and looked at her. "What?"

An infectious smile grew on her face. "I'm pregnant," she said through a lilting laugh.

His smile matched hers in half a second and he pulled her to his chest, kissing her lips. "How long have you known?"

Sam couldn't remember the last time she heard him so excited, or so happy. Apparently her timing had been very good, because he seemed to completely forget about the Replicators. "About a week."

He kissed her again, before leaning back to gaze at her. He pushed a bit of hair behind her ear and started to laugh. "We are going to screw this kid up so much."

She laughed, too. "Only on purpose."

_- - - - - Fin ~ Part II - - -_ - -


	15. Pt III, I Infection

Scars and Souvenirs

Part III – Disease

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Ripple Effect"

Chapter I: Infection

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

Sam was sitting on the couch with her feet up and her computer on her lap. She was trying to solve a problem Bill Lee had run into with the GateBuster Mark VI. He was trying to adjust the frequency of the energy blast to match the Ori beachhead forcefield.

Things were not going well.

She glanced to the floor next to the couch, making sure her daughter was exactly where she left her. Her baby was wiggling around fiddling with a few toys.

Sam smiled - her baby - and turned back to her laptop.

A short time, and zero progress, later, she heard a vehicle pull in. She glanced at the time, it was Jack. Concentrating on her work, she heard him close the door of his truck and come up to the house.

"Honey, I'm home," he called out sing-song.

Over her computer, she watched him come into the room, and circle around next to her. When Jack leaned over the back of the couch, she turned her head to meet his lips.

"What are you working on?" he asked.

"Bill's GateBuster adjustments."

He nodded slowly. "Sounds . . . fun."

She shook her head and Jack circled back around to the front of the couch and got down on the floor next to their daughter. "Not really."

After a few more minutes, she stood up. "I'm going for a run," she said.

"Alright," Jack replied absentmindedly, far too interested in their daughter.

Sam smiled again - their daughter - and headed to their room to change into some civilian PT gear.

She was hoping that a run would help clear her mind a little.

It didn't.

Around the end of her second mile she realized that there was no way that Bill's idea would work. The chances that each forcefield had the same frequency were minimal at best, and they would never be able to scan a forcefield, determine the precise frequency AND adjust the GateBuster in time.

It just wouldn't work.

All though her third mile, she was trying to think of some way to make it work, but the calculations were just too . . . ridiculous. They weren't impossible, that was for sure, but she couldn't imagine trying to write and algorithm that would properly analyze the frequency data, meaning they would have to do it manually. And that just sounded like a job that would take a good week, maybe week and half.

She stretched out on the lawn when she got back. She would call Bill tomorrow and tell him that she was relatively sure his plan was a bust, no pun intended.

She got up and walked into the house, thinking of what would sounded good for dinner. She walked into the living room, where she had left Jack and their daughter and was stopped in her tracks by the cutest thing she had ever seen.

Jack was fast asleep on his chest on the floor. His left arm was under his head, which was tilted to the right and his right arm was extended towards their daughter, his hand resting gently on her stomach.

From the way their daughter continued to play with her toy it was obvious who was babysitting whom.

Sam got the camera, captured the soon-to-be-treasured family moment, and got in the shower.

Jack was still asleep when she got out of the shower and changed. She shook her head and started dinner, thinking about Bill's project, the Ori, SG-1, the missing 'leather princess' (as Jack called her), the almost nonexistent Tok'Ra, who had all but disappeared since the destruction of Anubis and the death of her father, and how things only seemed to get worse.

So many things had improved in recent months, the birth of their first child, Janet and Daniel's wedding, hearing back from Atlantis. But . . . it seemed as if there was always more bad news then good.

"Ya know, Carter," Jack's voice came up behind her, causing her to jump slightly. "You brood so loud you woke me up." He stifled a yawn.

She turned and shot him an accusatory glance.

He shrugged, their daughter in his arms. "Hey, we were fast asleep and here we are, wide awake."

She laughed. "_You_ were fast asleep, she was babysitting."

Jack shrugged again. "So the kid's responsible." He paused. "You know, I could've made dinner."

"No," she didn't look back at him. "You're exhausted. Plus, you've got too many things on your plate already."

He took a few steps towards her and kissed his lips softly. "I know things suck, but we're gonna get through this. You've got to look on the bright side."

- . - - - . -


	16. Pt III, II Incubation

Scars and Souvenirs

Part III – Disease

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Ripple Effect"

Chapter II: Incubation

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

"No, Carter," Jack said a little more forcefully. "You are not coming down here. What part of _quarantine_ do you not understand?"

He listened to her attempt to argue with him.

"No," he repeated when she had finished her argument, knowing enough not to interrupt her. "I'm not letting anyone on or off this base. This plague had already spread outside the SGC, and there have been reports that it's even out of Colorado Springs. So, Carter, you're not coming down here. That's an order."

He paused and softened his tone realizing he had been a little harsh. "Sam, I don't want you two leaving the house. If you stay where you are you may not get infected. I need you to stay at home."

She didn't answer him.

He knew she, too, was considering the possibility that he had infected them both when he had come home three days previous.

_"Alright, Jack. We'll stay here,"_ she said quietly.

He smiled a little. "Thank you."

_"Call me if anything. . ."_

"I will," he said. "And, uh, Sam. I . . . Um."

"I know," she cut him off. "Me too."

- . - . -

Daniel didn't look up when he heard familiar footsteps come down the hall and enter his office. He didn't look up when he heard the owner of those feet sit down on the other side of his desk.

For several seconds, perhaps even a minute, neither of them said anything.

"How are you holding up?" he asked at length.

"There's nothing I can do," she answered.

He looked up at her with understanding eyes. "Now, Janet, you know that's not true."

She shook her head. "You haven't seen this thing, Daniel. It is the most persistent, resilient virus I have ever seen. We, literally, have every specialist on this planet working on a solution and we all keep coming up with the same answer: there isn't one. There isn't a treatment on this Earth that will kill this thing."

"Well, maybe that's it."

She leaned back a little, trying to understand what he said.

"Maybe the answer isn't here," he clarified. "Maybe the answer is on the other side of that gate."

She nodded. "It has to be. Because it sure as hell isn't here."

- . - . -

Janet ran her hand across her forehead in frustration as they stepped through the gate. There was nothing here either. The solution had to exist somewhere. But the chance they would ever find it in time was slim and decreasing all the time.

She looked up as they came through on the SGC side of the stargate. She stopped in her tracks when she saw weapons aimed in their direction.

"Doctor Fraiser," Colonel Reynolds said, trying to collect his jaw from the floor. "Martouf . . ."

"Reynolds?" Daniel asked.

The Colonel seemed shocked to see them. He turned back to the control room. "Walter, get General Landry down here!"

"Landry?" Daniel and Janet repeated.

"Where's Jack?"

Janet's hand shot to her mouth. "He's not sick . . ." she shook her head slowly.

"Jack? No, he's fine." He gestured towards one of the side corridors. "Come with me."

"Reynolds, what's going on here?" Daniel asked.

"Everything will be explained by General Landry." He looked back at Janet and smiled. "Though, Doctor, I think there are a few people who would like to say hello to you."

- . - . -

Sam looked up from the book she was pretending to read and looked at her phone, ringing on the coffee table. Reaching down and picking it up, she saw who was calling.

"Hey," she said.

_"Hey,"_ Jack replied.

Something was wrong. She knew it. She could hear it in his voice.

"What is it?" she asked.

_"SG-1's missing," _he replied.

"What?"

_"They're gone. They went to P7G-828, but they didn't come back. We sent a team, there was no sign of a struggle. The natives said everything was fine and that they were headed back here. Right now I've got a team scrubbing the DHD for the last addresses dialed but . . ."_

She knew. That would give them a couple dozen addresses, which would yield a couple dozen more each and . . . She needed to do something. She needed to help.

_"Don't you dare think about coming down here,"_ he said, reading her mind.

Sometimes she hated how well he knew her.

_"Are you okay?"_ he asked in a gentler tone.

No, she wasn't okay. Her team was missing. She knew she should have been out there with them. But . . . she thought of their daughter. Things were complicated. "Yeah," she lied.

_"No, you're not."_ She knew he could see right through her. _"But you don't want to talk about it, so call me if you do. I'll be here."_

"Thanks." She really did love how well he knew her. "And, Jack, I . . ."

_"I know,"_ he cut her off. _"Me too."_

- . - . -

Cassie wiped her eyes when she heard her roommate open the door to their dorm, and put her head back into her chemistry book, pretending to read it.

"Hey, Cass," her roommate said, dropping her bag.

Cassie muttered a response, trying to sound like she was just concentrating on her reading.

"Cass?" her roommate stopped and looked at her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied, trying to hide her tears.

"What's wrong?" She rubbed Cassie's shoulders.

"They're missing."

"What? Who?"

"Mom and Daniel." She wiped her eyes again. "They're missing." Sniffling, she grabbed a tissue. "I called him 'Dad,'" she said after a moment or two.

"What?"

"Daniel. I called him 'Dad.' I didn't even realize I did it, the first time. It was at dinner, and it was something stupid like 'Dad, will you pass the potatoes?' I don't even think he noticed. I mean, it took _me _a couple minutes to notice. But, I did, and now they're both missing."

"Cassie, it's going to be okay."

"First it was my family eight years ago, and now my mom and I were doing so great, and Daniel was here and . . ." she stopped as the tears became heavier than her words.

Her roommate wrapped her arms around her. "It's gonna be okay, Cass. It's gonna be okay."

- . - . -

"So, um, Janet's dead?" Daniel asked his counterpart.

"Yeah," Daniel-2.0 replied. "She got hit by an errant staff blast right in front of my eyes."

Daniel closed his eyes for a second as a vision of Janet getting shot filled his mind. "That must have been awful, I'm sorry."

Daniel-2.0 nodded. "Yeah, it was . . ." He searched for words, but found none. "I have a feeling it would have been worse for you, thought."

He shifted his eyes. "What do you mean."

"You two are," 2.0 made some broad, vague gestures, "together."

Daniel leaned back. "You and Janet were never . . . ?"

"A couple? No."

"What about Sam and Jack?"

2.0 smiled. "Neither of them will admit to anything, but ever since Jack left the SGC . . ." He shrugged. "There's something going on there."

"You probably shouldn't tell them this, but they have a baby."

2.0's face lit up. "Sam and Jack have a baby?"

Daniel nodded. "That's why Sam's not with us. She was on maternity leave when the plague broke out and the SGC was quarantined."

"Wow," 2.0 said. "She must be getting antsy, cooped up at home when all this is happening."

"Especially now that we're missing."

2.0 lowered his voice. "You do know that we're trying to get all you guys home, right?"

Daniel nodded. "I know. We'd be doing the same thing. It's just that when we left, a plague was running rampant in the galaxy."

"I understand. But we are trying."

Daniel forced a smile. "Let's just hope it's not too late."

- . - . -

Jack sat at his desk with his feet up. He was glancing through the reports coming in on the Prior Plague. Galaxy-wide: things were not going well.

He groaned when his phone rang, he didn't want to have to deal with anyone. "O'Neill," he said briskly. He paused, listening to the Sergeant on the other end. "What?" he dropped his feet to the floor and sat up straight. "You let her in?" He hung up the phone and was headed towards the elevator before the Sergeant could explain why he let Sam and their daughter into the base.

Furious, he stormed to the elevator, hitched up to Level 24, the place where the Sergeant had told him she was headed.

Arms folded, and face scowling, he waited for her.

"Carter, what part of quarantine do you not understand?" he asked as the doors were opening. But then he saw her face. Something was wrong. "Sam?" he asked in a much more understanding tone.

She answered with the three words he never wanted to hear come out of her mouth:

"Jack, she's sick."

- . - - - . -


	17. Pt III, III Prodome

Scars and Souvenirs

Part III – Disease

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Ripple Effect"

Chapter III: Prodome

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

Tim Reynolds sat at the conference table above the gate room. He was waiting for Doctor Carmichael to come down and give him a plague status report. From what he could tell, things were not going well.

"Good afternoon, Colonel," Carmichael said as he entered the conference.

"Doctor, have a seat." Tim waited for Carmichael to take a seat. "What's the outlook?"

Carmichael shook his head. "Not good, Sir. Airman Carlisle was added to the casualty list today. Also, two more SGC personnel were admitted today with minor symptoms. Statewide reports are still coming in, but early estimates don't look good."

"How's Baby O?" Tim asked, using the nickname everyone had given the baby before she was born, when Colonel Carter and Jack were withholding any and all baby details.

Carmichael took a deep breath. "Considering . . . Colonel Carter did notice her symptoms early, but . . . If we don't find some kind of solution within the next 72 hours, there won't be anything I can do for her, or any of my other patients for that matter."

Tim nodded. "Let's just hope SG-1 turns up with a solution, and soon."

- . - . -

"Samantha," Martouf breathed.

"Martouf," one of the Samantha's in the room responded. She seemed pleasantly shocked to see him, almost like she was seeing a ghost.

He surveyed the room, and the ten-to-twenty Samantha Carter's in the room.

"Quick poll," one of them said, breaking the awkward silence. She looked very different from the others. She sported short spiky hair and her tank top revealed a large patriotic USAF/eagle tattoo on her right shoulder. "How many of us shot Marty here during that whole zanax incident?" She leaned back and shot her hand in the air.

Then, all but one or two of them slowly raised their hands, looking very guilty.

Martouf slowly nodded.

The Samantha who had taken the poll smiled. "Yep, just wondering."

- . - . -

Sam sat in the observation room, staring at her daughter in a small isolation incubator. She absentmindedly bit her lower lip.

This was one of those times that there was far more bad news than good.

Her baby was dying. Her friends were missing. And a plague was wiping out the entire galaxy. There was no silver lining this time.

She heard the door open, but didn't need to look up to know it was Jack. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She clutched his hand.

"It's my fault," he whispered at length.

She squeezed his hand. "No it isn't."

She felt him tense up. "If I hadn't come home, and if . . . she wouldn't have gotten sick and . . ."

She turned to him and took his face in her hands. "This is not your fault. It's the Ori. They did this, not you." She held his gaze, but it was obvious he couldn't believe her. "This is not a loaded gun left on the top shelf of a closet."

Sam could almost see the wheels in his mind turning after her reference to Charlie.

He shook his head as his eyes watered. "I can't help but feel that I just killed my only child, again." His voice was thick.

She released his face and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he slid his arms around her waist, burying his face in her shoulder. She didn't know what else to say.

"I know you don't know what else to say," he whispered, almost reading her thoughts, "but you don't have to say anything."

- . - - - . -


	18. Pt III, IV Decline and Convalescence

Scars and Souvenirs

Part III – Disease

Season 8, approximately concurrent with "Ripple Effect"

Chapter IV: Decline and Convalenscence

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . -

"Excuse me, Ma'am, Sir," Doctor Carmichael said coming into the observation room, causing Jack and Sam to break their embrace and look at the good doctor. "That unscheduled activation a new moments ago was SG-1. They're all back and accounted for."

They got up and hurried towards the gateroom, glancing back once at their daughter.

They got the end of the corridor and were waiting for the elevator when it opened, revealing Daniel, Doctor Fraiser, Teal'c, and Martouf. Martouf had a large yellow case with him and Fraiser looked really excited.

Jack wasn't too distracted to notice how Martouf was looking at Sam, but he dismissed it.

"What's in the box?" he asked.

Fraiser smiled from ear to ear. "The answer, Sir. The cure."

"Really?" Sam asked.

"Really."

Jack made a broad motion, indicating that she should get to work. Janet hurried by them to the Infirmary with Martouf hot on her heels.

Jack watched her go and then turned back to Daniel. "Out a little past curfew, weren't ya?" he asked.

Daniel smiled sheepishly. "You're not going to believe where we've been."

"Try me," he said sharply.

"Alternate reality."

Jack groaned. He hated stuff like this.

"How did you get there?" Sam asked.

Leave it to Carter to side step the point for the physics of the issue.

"Energy spike as the wormhole crossed a black hole," Daniel explained, giving Jack a headache.

"That where you got the box?" Jack asked, cutting to the chase.

"Yeah, apparently they were hit by this plague a few weeks ago and they got a cure when Garek used his Prior abilities to heal those affected."

"Garek's alive?" . . . "Garek's a Prior?" Sam and Jack asked at the same time.

Daniel thought for a second as he sorted out the questions. "No, he's dead now. Some kind of Prior failsafe, they think. But, yes, he was converted into a Prior. Anyway, once they . . . we . . . figured out how to send us home, General Landry gave us the cure and sent us on our way."

"Landry?" Jack repeated. "Hank Landry?"

Daniel nodded. "Your replacement. Apparently you're off being the Secretary of Homeworld Security."

Jack and Sam shared a glance. "You're not exactly a politician," Sam said.

"I was surprised, too," Daniel said.

By this time, they had started heading towards the Infirmary. Jack needed to hear how Fraiser planned to get this cure out and save his baby girl.

"What did we miss here?" Daniel asked.

Neither Jack nor Sam answered.

They entered the Infirmary to see Doctor Fraiser hastily ordering people around. "Get Doctor Carmichael's list of the most critical patients and treat them first." . . . "Take 18 drams down to the lab and start culture synthesis." . . . "Get two drams to the lab, we need this analyzed, now."

She paused for a second when she noticed them come in. She turned and smiled warmly. "Airman Farrar volunteered to test it and he showed immediate signs of improvement. We're distributing it to those who need it most right now and the rest is going to be used to synthesis more. No one else here is going to die.

"Once we get samples out to the major hospitals in the area, we won't lose many more anywhere." She made specific eye contact with Sam and Jack. "Baby O'll be on one of the first lists of those to be treated. She's going to be fine."

- . - . -

Daniel lay on his back, painfully wide awake.

Janet hadn't actually gotten any real sleep since they returned from the alternate reality, being too busy distributing the cure they had brought back with them. She had made sure that she called Cassie, but she wouldn't take a break. He finally convinced her to get a night of sleep after he found her sleeping in her office.

She, reluctantly, followed him to crew quarters and climbed into bed, not admitting she was tired, but falling asleep almost instantly.

He joined her, but could not fall asleep.

Daniel kept thinking about the other him, and the other Janet. They had never gotten together, and then she had been shot.

He could imagine what it would be like to lose her. He thought of Sha're. He could imagine it all too well. He rolled onto his side and slid under her arm, tucking his head into her shoulder. He rested his arm over her, his hand on her stomach, lightly gripping her shirt loosely, and tried to ease away the feelings of loss in his heart.

She must have felt him move, because she adjusted underneath him and ran her hands though his hair. "You okay?" she asked, on the verge of being awake.

"Yeah," he nodded and settled into her embrace. "I'm fine, go to sleep."

Everything was okay, for now.

Sure, the Ori were trying to convert the galaxy, and killing those who wouldn't be converted.

But they had the cure. They were together. Cassie was off at college. Sam and Jack were finally together. Their baby would be just fine.

Everything was okay, for now.

- . - . -

Jack sat in the observation room looking at his daughter. She was getting better. She had been treated with the cure six hours previous and had already showed some improvement.

One of the nurses saw him watching his daughter and he picked her up, giving Jack a better view of the girl. She smiled. He smiled and waved at the smiling baby and the smiling nurse before heading towards his base quarters.

In general, things weren't going so great. The galaxy was still under a dangerous threat and the death toll was going to go up as the plague died out. But . . . things were okay. All teams were present or accounted for. His baby girl was going to be okay. But, things were okay.

He found Sam sitting on the bed, propped up by a few pillows, with her laptop on her lap.

"What's that?" he asked.

She didn't look up. "A gift from myself. Apparently, I knew that I would want to know what caused the teams to converge to their reality."

He saw her feet wiggle underneath the blankets. She was happy.

Jack took of his BDU jacket and dropped it unceremoniously on the floor, sat down on the bed and took off his boots. He kicked up his feet, slid under the covers, kissed her cheek, and settled down to sleep.

He heard her stop working for a second and he knew she was watching him. Jack reached over and squeezed her knee. "She smiled at me today."

Sam grasped his hand before turning back to her laptop. "Found our silver lining."

"What?"

She laughed softly. "Nothing. Go to sleep, General."

Not one to argue, he rolled over and settled down. _"Yeah_," he thought to himself, _"Things are okay."_

- . - - - . - _Grand Fin_ - . - - - . -


	19. Epilogue

Scars and Souvenirs

MEANINGLESS Epilogue

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

- . - - - . - Eighteen Years Later

She made her parents breakfast that morning. She got up early and made French Toast and bacon. She made their coffee, just the way they liked it. She knew that as a younger man, her father had no problem starting the day with a beer, but now that he was an old man . . .

She glanced over at them, her mother reading Scientific American, her father reading the sports section of the daily newspaper. She saw her father glance up and meet her gaze, she smiled and turned away.

"You know, Sam," he said to his wife, but loud enough for his daughter to hear as well. "I know when someone is trying to get on my good side."

Her mom smiled, and looked up from her magazine. After a moment, she continued eating her breakfast.

She smiled, and met the gaze of both her parents.

"Alright, spill it," her dad said, taking a sip of his coffee.

She took a few steps towards them and took a deep breath. "Guys, I'm enlisting in the Army."

Her mother's fork paused halfway to her mouth, and slowly lowered back to her plate. Her father almost spit out his coffee.

"What?" he spat, once he swallowed his drink.

"Honey," her mom said, "we are going to support you in whatever you want to do with your life." The insincerity of her mother's words could be hear a mile away, but at least she was trying.

Her father on the other hand . . .

"The hell we are!" her dad said, jumping to his feet. "Enlisting? The Army? There are so many things wrong with that statement!"

She smiled. "No, not really, Daddy. Derek and I are going to get married."

Her mom's jaw dropped.

Her dad looked conflicted. Enlisting in the Army or getting married at 18, he a right to be.

"Much better than enlisting in the Army; right, Dad?" she asked with a smile.

He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. "Oh, you're good, kid. You're good."

- . - - - . -


End file.
